A 22-year-old guy recently sent an email to one of our staff asking this very question.  We thought it would be great to provide the answer in a post so that anyone dealing with this same or similar situation could read it.  I’ve asked permission from the student if I could use his question to preface the post.  He agreed, so here is the circumstance he’s facing:

I’ve recently transferred to a new college. One of my new friends here and I discussed becoming accountability partners about a week ago. It usually takes me a while to talk about this kind of stuff with people so I felt blessed it happened so quickly. But then we told each other exactly what was going on and it turns out that both of us struggle with SSA. After that, we both agreed that accountability obviously wouldn’t work between us and that sharing these kinds of deep struggles with each other won’t help matters, under the circumstances. We’ve both been committed to Christ and have never pursued any unhealthy relationships and don’t intend to, but I’m having trouble knowing exactly how I should handle our friendship from here on out. Since you work in ministry and work with others that likely deal with the same issues, what do you do to avoid conflict or temptation? The last thing I want to do is make a brother stumble. I have been praying for years for someone who could relate to what was going on in my own life. I know God had a hand in us meeting. But I’d like to respect my friend in his walk and at the same time honor God in our friendship. Thanks for any input. (keep reading…)

There is no question that high schools and middle schools across this nation are ground zero for students who face peer pressure, bullying, low self-esteem, depression, and the like.  One of the most disturbing of these is bullying.  Daily, many students who are different face demoralizing statements about how they act, dress, talk, interact, and how they try to express themselves.  A major target for bullying in schools are students who identify themselves as gay, lesbian, or transgendered.  The bullying starts with name calling, crude jokes, rumors, cyber-bullying, etc, and occasionally ends with students getting beat up, receiving death threats, missing school, changing schools, and in some cases, even attempting suicide.

This article will look at how youth workers can, and must, help students who are facing such bullying in school – knowing that these same things could be happening within local youth ministries as well.  This article is not calling to accept behavior that clashes with Biblical beliefs, rather it’s calling for Christians (especially those who are youth workers) to take a stand against bullying, and start teaching the truth about sharing God’s unconditional love with those who think they are undeserving of such love. (keep reading…)

Have you heard about the Day of Truth? You’ve probably seen announcements about it on the Exodus Youth website and perhaps in our . You may be wondering why is involved and if you are a student personally struggling with same-sex attractions you may think, “Why should I be involved in the Day of Truth?” If you’re feeling that your participation may not be very beneficial or necessary, that is far from the truth. We encourage you to be involved because you are a valuable and much needed asset to this event. Regardless of if you’re a student who secretly struggles or open about your struggle with same sex attractions, you have so much to offer. Your unique perspective and personal experience with homosexuality can be a much needed asset to helping other Day of Truth participants prepare for the conversations taking place at your school.

As an individual who is fighting same sex struggles and submitting this battle daily to Christ, you bring a different and much needed redemptive viewpoint to other DOT participants. They can learn a lot from your personal battle with this issue and gain a better understanding for those students they are actually trying to reach. You have rejected the world’s answer to homosexuality and are experiencing a new-found freedom through Jesus Christ. You are proof that there is another way! By participating in Day of Truth, you can be an advocate for other hurting and struggling students at your school.

Now, please don’t hear us saying that you should broadcast your battle with homosexuality to your whole school. This certainly may not be the time and place for that, but you don’t have to share your testimony in order to be effective. You can still be a great influence in helping bring understanding and compassion to this issue without divulging your own personal battle.

However, if you feel lead to share your story to the DOT participants and/or the student group you’re involved in, be bold in your freedom and share the redemption you’ve experienced through Christ. Be confident that you’re not alone and there are thousands of other students battling right alongside you all throughout the world. Your story can plant seeds of life into the hearts of the broken and help other Christians see the grace of God in a new and different way.

By participating in Day of Truth you can make a difference. Whether you feel lead to share your story or not, you can be an invaluable asset to other participants and the students they are reaching out to. Hopefully, the conversations will continue beyond this one day event and the Lord will use you to bring real answers and hope to a culture impacted by homosexuality.

I know what an important question this is to you; it’s a question I’ve asked many times. In the middle of an internal conflict between powerful desires for the same sex and the deep conviction that what the Bible says is true, something’s got to give. What will it be?

For those who are just starting to look at a journey out of homosexuality, we are often thinking in terms of attraction when we ask about change. Will we always feel our same-sex attractions (SSA) so strongly? Will we ever have opposite-sex attractions (OSA) to a satisfying degree?

(keep reading…)

Many Christians are intimidated by the issue of homosexuality because it seems so hard to understand. Some decide they can’t minister to a person struggling with it because they just don’t know enough. After all, how can you minister relationally to someone going through something that feels totally alien to you?

The answer is, you can probably relate to those who struggle with SSA a lot more than you think!

If you look at homosexuality on a surface level–simply as sexual and/or romantic desires for the same sex–it’s probably not something you can relate to at all. It’s important to realize, though, that the attractions are not what this struggle is all about. In truth, the underlying issues that someone with SSA needs to deal with are a lot more universal than even they realize. (keep reading…)

Everybody’s story is a little bit different. Maybe you’re struggling with same-sex attraction or you know somebody who is. The good news: you’re not alone! Or maybe you heard about Exodus somewhere and just couldn’t believe something like this really existed. In any case, we’re glad you’re here to find answers for yourself. Let’s talk about it:

• What are you guys all about?
• Is God mad at me?
• What does “freedom from homosexuality” really mean?
• So what now?

(keep reading…)

What’s Exodus About? | Is God Mad? | What is ‘Freedom’? | What Next?

Everybody’s story is a little bit different. Whether you have never acted on your same-sex attractions, have a little bit, or you’ve spent several years proudly declaring “I’m gay,” pursuing freedom from homosexuality is a big decision–and it’s a big journey.The good news: you’re not alone.

What are you guys all about?

Maybe you saw a story about Exodus on the news or the internet. Whenever the media talks about Exodus they call us “an organization that claims it can turn gay people straight.” That’s not what we are. We have no trick or technique to offer you that will cause your same-sex attractions to vanish magically.

Maybe you think you were born gay; or you might suspect something that happened in your life somehow caused you to feel the way you do. Any way you look at it, homosexuality is simply part of human experience. It just happens. What you need to realize is that the human experience is in conflict with the way God created us. Exodus is an organization that believes that conflict is resolved in Jesus Christ, and we’re here to support those who are following him.

Is God mad at me?

It’s common for young people with same-sex attractions to feel a lot of shame–especially where God is concerned. You need to know that there’s no need to be ashamed!

First of all, just because you struggle with something doesn’t mean you’ve done anything wrong. Unfortunately, you probably often see two drastically opposed sides fighting over this issue–and neither one is being very helpful. On the one hand you hear that homosexuality is something you are; it’s a concrete part of your being that you can never change. The other side acts like having same-sex attractions somehow makes you an evil person.

The fact is, both extremes are wrong–in different ways.

The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure. (1 Corinthians 10:13)

You don’t struggle with anything worse than what other people struggle with. In God’s eyes, this temptation is no different. He’s not mad at you. He also promises to give you a way out of temptations, so that you don’t have to obey your desires but can obey Him instead.

God doesn’t see you as different, and God doesn’t see you as stuck.

What does ‘freedom from homosexuality’ really mean?

What does it mean to be free? What kind of change is really possible?

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. (Galatians 5:1)

There’s definitely no easy answer to this struggle. If there was, you would have found it already. Those of us who have discovered what freedom means aren’t immune to struggle, and we aren’t perfect. But we have found new hope, new confidence and new desires through growing in our knowledge of who God really is–and consequently, who we really are, too.

There’s more going on inside you than you realize. Homosexuality isn’t as simple as a gene or a hormone. You don’t experience those feelings just because of something your mom or dad did (or didn’t do). Human sexuality is incredibly complex, and is affected by so many different things in life. Your inborn traits can play into it, and so can your upbringing and experiences.

The reality is, human sexuality is all over the place. Our bodies and our emotions tell us to do all sorts of things we were never made to do (that’s our nature being in conflict with God’s). Even people you might think have it easier than you find it difficult to live out God’s plan for their sexuality–not to mention the rest of their life.

No matter what your struggle looks like, though, it doesn’t have to dictate your identity, actions or destiny. A big part of starting this journey is learning to stop thinking the way the crowd thinks, to stop believing everything you’re told just because it’s popular opinion.

Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. (Romans 12:2)

When you start thinking about yourself the way God thinks about you, you’ll begin to understand what freedom really means. Your same-sex attractions may not go away completely–but they don’t have to dominate your life.

Real freedom doesn’t come from just accepting your desires at face value and acting on them. There might be some temporary gratification, sure, but you probably have already experienced some level of dissatisfaction with going that way. Part of you might feel like embracing gayness isn’t giving you what you really wanted in the first place.

Freedom is about finding out who you really are, what you really need and what you really have to give. God wants to heal you where you’re wounded–not just ease the pain. Freedom is about letting Him meet your desires in His way. It’s about breaking out of the past and not letting it define you. Sometimes, finding out you were wrong is the best news a person can get.

Will you ever experience heterosexual attractions? Could be! There are certainly plenty of people who have been where you are and experienced that kind of change, and went on to get married and have kids. Others have remained single for one reason or another. But you’ll find that those who have stayed on the journey will tell you that, either way, it’s worth it.

So what now?

If you really want to start this journey, you’re going to need some help. And there is plenty of help out there!

First, you probably ought to begin educating yourself to help you understand your struggle and what the journey looks like. To help you do that, Exodus has a lot of great resources available. The main Exodus website also has and from men and women who have been walking this journey out and know the ropes.

Secondly, it’s important to get connected with people who understand what you’re going through. You can do that through Exodus Youth’s safe, online forums where you can post questions and prayer requests. You can also find out if there is an near you where you can find a counselor or support group.

The third step is the hardest, and that’s becoming real with the people in your life. Struggling in secret makes the journey a thousand times harder than it needs to be, and nobody has to live that way. Even if you can’t think of anyone you feel comfortable confiding in, we are confident that God has placed trustworthy people near each struggler for this very purpose. Pray and ask Him to show you who those people are.

You can also search to see if there’s one near you. Church Network churches are safe communities dedicated to welcoming, loving and supporting people with your struggle.

There’s a long road ahead but you aren’t alone, and you don’t have to get to the end before you feel like it’s worth walking it out. You can do it, there is hope and help, and God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns. (Philippians 1:6)

Human sexuality is a wonderful work of art designed by God. It has emotional, spiritual and physical aspects that all work together in a beautiful and mysterious way. Unfortunately, in a fallen world this delicate design is often misunderstood by us and sometimes abused by others.

Everyone’s body is sexual. Once puberty hits, there are parts of the human body designed to react to stimulation by experiencing pleasure. These body parts–called “erogenous zones”–don’t have a mind of their own. They don’t know who or what is touching them, whether it’s a male or female, or if the situation is right or wrong; they just respond to physical touch the way they are designed to, regardless of circumstance. (keep reading…)

It’s not. God is love, and He created us to love Him and each other. You have a very real need to love and be loved by someone–by several someone’s–of the same gender. That’s a need that God cares about, and nobody is saying you should ever ignore it.

But God does have a lot to say about how love is expressed in different kinds of relationships. He created sex to be sacred and special, protected and pure. God didn’t give us a bunch of rules to follow because sex is bad or because He doesn’t want us to have fun. He doesn’t want you or me to lose out on the holy mystery He created it for.

Parents love their children, brothers and sisters love each other, and people also love their pets. One married couple can become very close to another married couple within a community. All of these are wonderful, love-filled relationships. I think we can also agree, though, that bringing sex into the expression of any of these loves would not be good. And these are all relationships that the Bible plainly tells us sexuality is not meant for. (keep reading…)

There are many powerful stories out there about men and women whom God has delivered from the gay lifestyle. It touches the heart and certainly glorifies God when we see these people getting married and leading godly lives free of homosexuality, but in all honesty, what about the rest of us who deal with this issue and haven’t come to our “happy ending” yet? What about those of us who continue to struggle with same-sex attraction (SSA), even after choosing to follow Christ? We’re caught in a sort of identity limbo, unsure whether we can or even should hope to experience heterosexual desire, get married and start a family someday.
(keep reading…)