Trusting When You’ve Been Violated
Written by: Chris Stump | September 28th, 2009I never thought I would need to accept this reality. 
Nor did I think I’d come to a place to admit to myself and others that this happened. I never thought of embracing the fact that what happened to me at ten years old had a colossal impact on how I perceived the world around me, my relationships, and how I interacted with others. I never thought I’d utter these most pungent words — “I’m a sexual abuse survivor”.
I never felt shame as an abuse victim, mainly because I didn’t think I was abused. I just saw those few instances as mere opportunities for an older guy to provide me what I was already hungry for. I was just as responsible for what happened as he was, I thought. It was merely an experience in the past with no consequences to my soul or well-being. Having gone through a recovery program I should have known better.
After almost six years of walking away from a homosexual identity, the reality of those experiences hit me. I’ve been working with a counselor for the last six months, and in the early stages of our meetings, the topic of what happened with the older guy came up. As I tried to minimize the actions that took place, my counselor reacted in a way that shocked me. He acted as if the sexual encounters with this older guy were consequential and influential in how I interact and relate to the world around me. (keep reading…)