Written by Randy Thomas

SALT LAKE CITY — As the number of suicides among lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender populations continues to increase across the nation, concern among the Utah LGBT community has begun to push the issue into the spotlight.

In July, Utah’s LGBT community lost at least three members to suicide, including a 28-year-old man whose death was mourned by more than 300 people during a candlelight vigil on the steps of the state Capitol.

Two other suicides of well-known members of the LGBT community, also gay men, have occurred in the past month. Though the problem is well known to LBGT advocates in Utah and nationwide, there are no statistics to back up its seriousness.

“This is a serious problem in general,” said Valerie Larabee, executive director of the Utah Pride Center, “and it’s a serious problem in Utah.”

Since 2006, Larabee has served on the Utah Suicide Prevention Council, which has identified the state’s LGBT community as a high-risk minority group for suicide.

Larabee said suicide is a common topic of discussion among support groups meeting at the Utah Pride Center.

“Over my 10 years here, every year we’ve had people (in the local LGBT community) who have killed themselves,” she said.

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Personal

I was homeless for about three weeks when I was 19 and transient for the next 18 months.  It was the only time in my life I truly felt suicidal to the point of thinking it through.  No one knew, except God, how truly close to suicide I was. (keep reading…)

I never thought I would need to accept this reality.  Nor did I think I’d come to a place to admit to myself and others that this happened.  I never thought of embracing the fact that what happened to me at ten years old had a colossal impact on how I perceived the world around me, my relationships, and how I interacted with others.  I never thought I’d utter these most pungent words — “I’m a sexual abuse survivor”.

I never felt shame as an abuse victim, mainly because I didn’t think I was abused.  I just saw those few instances as mere opportunities for an older guy to provide me what I was already hungry for.  I was just as responsible for what happened as he was, I thought.  It was merely an experience in the past with no consequences to my soul or well-being.  Having gone through a recovery program I should have known better.

After almost six years of walking away from a homosexual identity, the reality of those experiences hit me.  I’ve been working with a counselor for the last six months, and in the early stages of our meetings, the topic of what happened with the older guy came up.  As I tried to minimize the actions that took place, my counselor reacted in a way that shocked me.  He acted as if the sexual encounters with this older guy were consequential and influential in how I interact and relate to the world around me.   (keep reading…)