About seven years ago I attended my first Exodus conference.  As I was looking at the multitude of workshops offered during the week I came across one entitled “Something, something…MASTURBATION”.  I can’t remember the whole title, because I just saw that “m” word.  I knew I had to go to that one.  But of course when the time came to go I was filled with so much trepidation and shame.  Would I be the only one in the workshop?  I got up enough courage to go, and to my amazement, the room was so full, there was barely any standing room.  It was such a relief to know that I was no longer the only person, or one of the select few, who dealt with this issue.

Something that is so common, a problem for so many Christians, is one of the few things ever discussed in church.  So what is the answer to the question, ‘Is masturbation a sin?’  Is there really anything wrong with it?  I mean, what’s the harm?  What does the Bible say? (keep reading…)

When I walked into my first support group meeting, I was an angry, depressed 19 year old. I had struggled in secret with desires and temptations I never wanted and that kept me from living the life I always dreamed of. I had been Bible Club president all through High School and consequently lead a double life… shiny, happy Christian by day while struggling all night with pornography and chat rooms. As a Christian I had a love for God and I read the scriptures searching for answers.

As I walked into that support group for the first time I came with one solitary question. From reading the scriptures I understood homosexuality was wrong. 1st Corinthians 6:9-10 made clear that “homosexual offenders” were not going to inherit the kingdom of heaven. For me it didn’t feel like a choice, the way other sins like prostitution or witchcraft were… I thought as long as I was attracted to men I was not going to inherit the kingdom of heaven. I also read in the Gospels accounts of Jesus walking through town healing the lame, blind and deaf even raising people from the dead. My question to the leadership at the group was: “If being gay means I’m going to hell… and if Jesus can heal me… why am I still gay?” (keep reading…)

The importance of Vision to recovery
Have you ever wondered, “Okay God, I know what I’m recovering from, here; but what am I recovering to?” Ever felt like, in a sense recovery needs you more than you need recovery (in such a formal, programmatic way)? Well, if so, I say “HALLELUJAH!” The truth is you are pondering one of the most important yet overlooked aspects and periods of recovery: Vision!

I want to give you a way of thinking about Vision that will pull your recovery from sexual addictions into the future. My heart is to share a few ideas about areas where you can pay attention and with following-through, enrich the process of recovery with greater meaning, radical redemption, and down-right Kingdom authority. I also want to warn you about some common challenges to Vision to help you anticipate how the enemy will try and take you off your God-ordained course. (keep reading…)

I stood in an empty starbucks with my friend Jenny. We were both assigned the sunday opening shift of a newly opened store and our third partner called in sick leaving us alone. She noticed I had been changing over the recent months but not in a positive way. Whereas I was always happy and giddy making jokes and singing cheezy christian songs to make her laugh… now I was growing increasingly dark and detached. As a friend she demanded to know why I was so distant. It was my darkest secret and only one other person knew. My palms sweaty, gripping the aluminum counter, eyes shuffling about the floor, I finally uttered the words that caused me so much pain to admit.

“Jenny,” I said. “I’m Gay.”

“Alright…” she replied, “but do you want to be gay?” No one had ever asked me that before. No one ever gave me that choice. I knew I wasn’t born gay, but somehow I developed homosexual attractions and now I couldn’t make them go away. (keep reading…)

A common roadblock in the pursuit of purity is the accountability relationship that starts off with good intentions but quickly fizzles out. Ever get depressed and discouraged by simply hashing over the same habitual sins over and over–even in the company of supportive Brothers or Sisters in Christ?

What if accountability was meant to be more than that? Check out this great article over at the Boundless webzine:

Are you struggling with pornography? Is this something you wish wasn’t in your life but you just can’t seem to conquer it? Well, you’re not alone.

Personally, I can relate with that feeling of being trapped. I’ve been there and I’ve found ways to get beyond that place of being trapped. With God’s help, there is hope for you, like there was hope for me.

There are a few key things to realize and steps to take…allow me share a few of these things that helped me and countless others. (keep reading…)

I know what an important question this is to you; it’s a question I’ve asked many times. In the middle of an internal conflict between powerful desires for the same sex and the deep conviction that what the Bible says is true, something’s got to give. What will it be?

For those who are just starting to look at a journey out of homosexuality, we are often thinking in terms of attraction when we ask about change. Will we always feel our same-sex attractions (SSA) so strongly? Will we ever have opposite-sex attractions (OSA) to a satisfying degree?

(keep reading…)

There are many things that can make parents wonder if their child is confused about their sexual identity. It’s true that this struggle is not one teens are eager to share with a parent, or anyone for that matter. In the often fuzzy arena of understanding your teenager, here’s how to recognize the serious warning signs.

Help Them Open Up

The best way to make it more likely your child might share a sexual struggle with you is to respond with an attitude of compassion and understanding whenever these types of issues come up. Your reaction to the subject of homosexuality when it comes up in conversation, on TV or through other relationships sends your children a message about whether you are a safe person to confide in. (keep reading…)

There are many powerful stories out there about men and women whom God has delivered from the gay lifestyle. It touches the heart and certainly glorifies God when we see these people getting married and leading godly lives free of homosexuality, but in all honesty, what about the rest of us who deal with this issue and haven’t come to our “happy ending” yet? What about those of us who continue to struggle with same-sex attraction (SSA), even after choosing to follow Christ? We’re caught in a sort of identity limbo, unsure whether we can or even should hope to experience heterosexual desire, get married and start a family someday.
(keep reading…)

I met ‘Greg’ in high school through the drama team. He just came up to me one day and asked me to make him laugh, so I did. We were pretty much inseparable from then on.It was rare for me to find another guy with the same sense of humor, the same taste in movies and hobbies, so being together was really fun. And we hung out a lot. I always enjoyed spending time with Greg, so much so that I thought about him whenever I wasn’t with him. Whatever I got involved in, I thought of ways to get him involved, too.

We ended up going to the same college and taking a lot of classes together. As we drifted away from our high school friends, we got even closer. He was a really affectionate guy who had no problem hugging me, and sometimes we even wrestled around together. He was so considerate, calling me often and giving me silly little gifts or messages.

There was a down side to this seemingly fulfilling friendship, though. No matter how loving Greg was toward me, I always wanted more. Even if we spent a whole day together, for some reason I would go home at the end of it with a sort of frustrated, dissatisfied feeling. He was very social, and when I saw him laughing with other guys I felt jealous. I always worried, ‘What if he likes them more?’ (keep reading…)

One of our top priorites at Exodus is equipping youth workers to minister to students affected by homosexuality. We’ve collected terrific resources to help you minister to struggling youth, understand the root causes and treatment of homosexuality, address homosexuality as a church, and confront the false pro-gay theology. The links at right will direct you to a great deal of helpful information. Please don’t hesitate to contact us directly for further assistance. The forums are a great place to go for general questions.

a call to respond

As a youth worker you have been blessed with the awesome responsibility of holding the very keys to a young person’s spiritual life with the hopes of making their lives more fulfilling and rewarding. However you also hold the keys to unlock doors which you may have never believed could be opened – doors that, to those who struggle with sexual sin, may feel are locked forever. (keep reading…)