The news about the four young men who committed suicide recently has left many of us angry and saddened at the inexcusable loss of these individuals to bullying. I’m sure all of us know bullying is a constant occurrence in schools.  It’s something sadly unavoidable for many teens.  It breaks my heart to hear of lives cut short because of constant harassment from peers.  These tragic deaths should give us pause and make us think of what we can do to prevent this from happening again.

Whether a person is gay identified or is perceived as gay, no one deserves to be treated as objects of amusement or habitual verbal or physical harassment.  Every single person has value and worth in the eyes of our Creator.  Each breath is a gift from God and He treasures all those He brought into this world. With that knowledge and understanding, we must stand up for all individuals who are bullied and degraded. (keep reading…)

Ricky Chelette, director of Living Hope Ministries, recently wrote an article about parenting a sensitive boy.  Randy Thomas, our EVP, shared it with me.  Here’s an excerpt:

“I think my son wants to be a girl,” the  father blurted out through tear-filled eyes as he entered my office.  He was an enthusiastic father, an articulate, well-educated man, with a passion for God and truth. His wife was with him, tears streaming from her face as she saw the pain in her husband’s heart.  She was a gentle mother with a deep passion for her family and an even deeper passion for the Lord.

“How old is your boy?” I asked.

“He is five and this has been going on for two years.”

…

How do you know that your son wants to be a girl?” I asked. The dad’s response was one that I had heard before and in many ways, was indicative of the confusion I feel exists with gender development in sensitive boys.  The dad began to tell me a myriad of examples where the son was drawn to things the father identified as female:  “He is fascinated with women’s shoes.  He puts his t-shirt over his head and pretends he has long hair.  He loves to touch his mother’s silk nightgowns.  He is fascinated with Ariel in the Little Mermaid and often wants to be her.”

With a quiver in his voice he stated, “And he put on his mothers skirt and was twirling around like a girl. I told him not to do that because that was like a girl!”

This is an issue I have had to think about recently.  A wonderful, concerned mother sent me an email a few weeks ago asking about her five year old son’s peculiar behavior.  He was indeed doing some of the things the boy mentioned in the article was doing.  They were concerned for him, wondering whether he would turn out gay or not.  The truth is, God created him with he temperament and there isn’t anything gay about his interests.  I really like what Ricky says about sensitive boys. (keep reading…)

Though it would be great to have a peaceful and civil Day of Truth event, many times that just isn’t the case.  You may well know that schools are becoming more and more biased when it comes to homosexual issues.  Homosexual propaganda is seeping into classroom lectures, and teachers and administrators alike are enforcing one-sided rhetoric.  By standing up for what you believe in and sharing the truth you will most likely experience some form of opposition.

I’ve heard countless stories from students who have participated in previous Day of Truth events that paint a rather harsh picture.  Students have been criticized and humiliated in front of their classmates by teachers – teachers who have fallen prey to pro-gay rhetoric and have lost understanding of what tolerance truly means.  Depending on your school atmosphere, you may very well experience the same kind of condemnation, anger, and judgment.  How will you handle the guards that may be thrown up to counteract your message, or the offensive attacks that may pop up when you participate?

Experiencing pressure and personal attack because you want to dialogue and share your own beliefs on homosexuality can be discouraging and even scary.  It can be difficult to stand up for a belief that is constantly pounded by waves of skepticism, anger, and ideology that what you believe is a load of crock.  When facing such negative feedback, it’s important to keep everything in perspective.  There are some important things to remember if and when you experience resistance to your desire to dialogue and share counter-culture truths.

Don’t take the attack personally.  This can be so hard to do.  Our emotions and identity can be hindered if we allow what other people say to have power over us.  When you speak truth, the world is not going to understand or easily swallow it.  There will always be opposition to the truth. You’ll probably even experience some hatred.  Christ tells us that if the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated Him first.  He has chosen you out of the world and that is why the world hates you (John 14:18-19).

By living out of the reality that we are in Christ, this separates us from the world.  We experience opposition because we walk in the Truth and the world pulls so far against the Truth.  If the world hated Christ, it certainly will hate those who proclaim Him.  So don’t take it personally.  Be confident in your identity in Christ.  He is the one who called you and He is the one who will protect you.  Know that He has your back and rejoices in the fact that you are trusting in His favor, strength, and wisdom in sharing the gospel message with students who desperately need Him!

Remember whom you are fighting for and against.  We are all guilty of being competitive sometimes in our lives.  It seems to be our natural tendency to become defensive and argue for the sake of being right when someone attacks our views.  Remember the Day of Truth is not about arguing, even if it’s tempting to prove classmates or teachers wrong who criticize you.  On DoT, and hopefully the many days after, you are fighting for the very people who may be judging you.  The reason you participate in this event is to fight for the freedom that Christ offers to those in your schools who are gay-identified or are struggling in secrecy.

Fighting for their freedom means promoting respectful dialogue and conversation.  If someone tries to argue with you, “It is honorable to refrain from strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel” (Proverbs 20:3).  Though some people may not be willing to respectfully dialogue and may become abrasive, don’t give into quarreling.  You want to reach and minister to people, not turn them away.  There may be instances where you must stand your ground and confront a person who is going too far with criticism.  But don’t fall prey to arguing just to prove your rightness. Keep persevering and fighting the good fight.  After all, you’re not trying to win an argument, but win souls.  Look past the anger and see the person that God loves very much.

While you fight for those who may be coming against you, remember you are fighting against something far greater than flesh and blood. “Put on the whole armor of God, so that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For our struggle is not against enemies of blood and flesh, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers of this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places” (Ephesians 6:11-12).  It’s hard to do sometimes, especially when you are in the midst of crossfire, but keep a Kingdom perspective.  While it seems you may be fighting against gay-identified students and those who support homosexuality, you really aren’t.  There is a dark force at work in the world, and you are bringing the Truth to combat the schemes of the true enemy.  Keeping this perspective can help you with any situation you may face when a fellow student or teacher attacks your message.

Know that it’s worth it! Hopefully the reality of what some students face on the Day of Truth is not a discouragement for you. This can be a heated topic to address with others, but it is paramount to begin these discussions with your peers.  I was a struggling teenager who desperately needed to hear the redemptive side of homosexuality.  The persecution you may face will be well worth it if only a few seeds are planted, even if you never see the final results of a life forever changed.  You may just reach that one struggling student who is starving for a better answer to his homosexual feelings.

Your perseverance and boldness in proclaiming the truth will impact your school and your witness.  Be encouraged to know that God is behind you and is rooting for you.  He will bless your courageous acts in ways that you may not ever see.  You will not only be sharing the freedom and hope in Christ, but also advancing the Kingdom – and that is huge!  Know that participating in the Day of Truth you are making a great impact for the King and the Kingdom.  Realizing that, makes it all worth it!  2 Corinthians 4:8-10 states, “We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be made visible in our bodies.”  We are the visible representation of Christ and will make Him known through our own humiliation at times.  So, be encouraged knowing that you are sharing a life-changing, life-giving, message.

One of the most important things to do when reaching out to gay or struggling students is to actually identify with them.  To effectively reach someone with compassion, you should have at least a basic understanding of who you’re reaching out to.  Missionaries typically spend some time learning about the cultures and customs of the people they are visiting in order to be better equipped in sharing and ministering to the people they are called to reach with the gospel of Christ.  While there may be some differences between you and your peers, it’s important to get an understanding of where they are coming from.  We all have different characteristics, personalities, perspectives, and even reactions to personal hurtful experiences.  However, we all have one Savior who equally provides answers, hope, forgiveness, a way out, and a better life for all who are willing to make Him Lord of their lives.

Place yourself in the shoes of a gay-identified, or homosexually struggling peer.  Imagine you grew up feeling different and alienated from your same-sex peers.  You’ve struggled with feelings and attractions towards the same-sex for as long as you can remember.  Out of shame or guilt, you’ve hidden it from your family, friends, church leaders, and the world around you.  The last thing you want is for anyone to know your “secret” as you pray night after night for God to free you of this struggle.  You wonder how this even happened and why, out of all the things you could struggle with, homosexuality has to be your struggle.  You didn’t choose to have these attractions; they just developed and you feel like there is no way to make it all go away.  These are the kinds of things that characterize a person’s life who is dealing with same sex feelings and attractions.  Once you can get an idea of what they are going through, hopefully you are able to view them in a different light.  They are no longer “sick” people who choose to have these feelings.  They are dealing with temptations and sin.  As Paul writes in Romans 7: 15, “For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.”  We certainly can find commonality in that!

Homosexuality is no greater sin than any other sinful behaviors or “trivial” sins such as lying or gossiping.  As the old saying goes, the ground is level at the foot of the Cross.  Everyone is given the same opportunity at the foot of the Cross to receive forgiveness of our sinful behavior along with a new identity and strength to live a life free of the bondage of sin.  Knowing this can help Christians, who may not struggle in this particular area of temptation or sin, relate to those who do.

Relating…It Can Happen
I’ve often heard from gay-identified students that Christians have no understanding of what it’s like to have these attractions and feelings.   That certainly isn’t true!  While you may not be able to relate to their specific struggle or attraction, you can definitely relate to their struggle with humanity and sinful nature.  We can all relate to being tempted, falling short, and even giving up when the battle simply becomes too difficult.  A majority of Christians have found themselves in bondage to one sin or another at some point in their lives.  So relating to those with same-sex attractions isn’t impossible.

I remember joining a men’s sexual integrity group at my church a few years ago, thinking I wouldn’t find any help or healing through this group.  Only one other guy and I were dealing with homosexuality.  I thought “Surely, I couldn’t relate with the other guys in the group and they couldn’t relate to me.”  But the longer I stayed in the group, the more I realized that I had made a false assumption about these guys.  I never felt ostracized or judged when I talked about my struggle, because the other guys knew and understood that we were in this thing together.  No matter what the particular attraction was, we were all dealing with sexual brokenness – lust, temptation, and habitual sins.

I learned through that great group of men that it is possible to relate to someone dealing with homosexuality even if you have never had a homosexual thought in your life.  You see, those men realized we were dealing with the same struggles with temptation and sin, just in our own unique ways. Together we realized that this was merely Satan’s attempt at keeping us from experiencing true intimacy with Christ, embracing our true identity in Christ, and recognizing the righteous authority we’ve been give to live a life of freedom.   A lot of my personal healing took place in this group, because I was able to see that not only could they relate to me, but I could also relate to them.

In reaching out, don’t allow a wall of unfamiliarity to divide you from peers who either struggle with or embrace homosexuality.  You’re not that different!  It’s important to realize and share your own shortcomings and struggles.  This can help you meet them in and through your own brokenness.  Be vulnerable about your own struggles, about difficulties you face or have faced, and how we all need a Savior to forgive us and help us daily fight temptations that aim to keep us from experiencing God’s best for our lives.  Vulnerability breeds vulnerability and the more you open up and show authenticity, the more your gay-identified friend will open up.  This will allow you the opportunity to speak into his or her life, understand how to pray for them, and hopefully witness God’s transforming power at work in all of our lives.

Have you heard about the Day of Truth? You’ve probably seen announcements about it on the Exodus Youth website and perhaps in our . You may be wondering why is involved and if you are a student personally struggling with same-sex attractions you may think, “Why should I be involved in the Day of Truth?” If you’re feeling that your participation may not be very beneficial or necessary, that is far from the truth. We encourage you to be involved because you are a valuable and much needed asset to this event. Regardless of if you’re a student who secretly struggles or open about your struggle with same sex attractions, you have so much to offer. Your unique perspective and personal experience with homosexuality can be a much needed asset to helping other Day of Truth participants prepare for the conversations taking place at your school.

As an individual who is fighting same sex struggles and submitting this battle daily to Christ, you bring a different and much needed redemptive viewpoint to other DOT participants. They can learn a lot from your personal battle with this issue and gain a better understanding for those students they are actually trying to reach. You have rejected the world’s answer to homosexuality and are experiencing a new-found freedom through Jesus Christ. You are proof that there is another way! By participating in Day of Truth, you can be an advocate for other hurting and struggling students at your school.

Now, please don’t hear us saying that you should broadcast your battle with homosexuality to your whole school. This certainly may not be the time and place for that, but you don’t have to share your testimony in order to be effective. You can still be a great influence in helping bring understanding and compassion to this issue without divulging your own personal battle.

However, if you feel lead to share your story to the DOT participants and/or the student group you’re involved in, be bold in your freedom and share the redemption you’ve experienced through Christ. Be confident that you’re not alone and there are thousands of other students battling right alongside you all throughout the world. Your story can plant seeds of life into the hearts of the broken and help other Christians see the grace of God in a new and different way.

By participating in Day of Truth you can make a difference. Whether you feel lead to share your story or not, you can be an invaluable asset to other participants and the students they are reaching out to. Hopefully, the conversations will continue beyond this one day event and the Lord will use you to bring real answers and hope to a culture impacted by homosexuality.

Have you heard about the Day of Truth? You’ve probably seen announcements about it on the Exodus Youth website and perhaps in our . You may be wondering why is involved and if you are a student personally struggling with same-sex attractions you may think, “Why should I be involved in the Day of Truth?” If you’re feeling that your participation may not be very beneficial or necessary, that is far from the truth. We encourage you to be involved because you are a valuable and much needed asset to this event. Regardless of if you’re a student who secretly struggles or open about your struggle with same sex attractions, you have so much to offer. Your unique perspective and personal experience with homosexuality can be a much needed asset to helping other Day of Truth participants prepare for the conversations taking place at your school.

As an individual who is fighting same sex struggles and submitting this battle daily to Christ, you bring a different and much needed redemptive viewpoint to other DOT participants. They can learn a lot from your personal battle with this issue and gain a better understanding for those students they are actually trying to reach. You have rejected the world’s answer to homosexuality and are experiencing a new-found freedom through Jesus Christ. You are proof that there is another way! By participating in Day of Truth, you can be an advocate for other hurting and struggling students at your school.

Now, please don’t hear us saying that you should broadcast your battle with homosexuality to your whole school. This certainly may not be the time and place for that, but you don’t have to share your testimony in order to be effective. You can still be a great influence in helping bring understanding and compassion to this issue without divulging your own personal battle.

However, if you feel lead to share your story to the DOT participants and/or the student group you’re involved in, be bold in your freedom and share the redemption you’ve experienced through Christ. Be confident that you’re not alone and there are thousands of other students battling right alongside you all throughout the world. Your story can plant seeds of life into the hearts of the broken and help other Christians see the grace of God in a new and different way.

By participating in Day of Truth you can make a difference. Whether you feel lead to share your story or not, you can be an invaluable asset to other participants and the students they are reaching out to. Hopefully, the conversations will continue beyond this one day event and the Lord will use you to bring real answers and hope to a culture impacted by homosexuality.