Ricky Chelette, director of Living Hope Ministries, recently wrote an article about parenting a sensitive boy.  Randy Thomas, our EVP, shared it with me.  Here’s an excerpt:

“I think my son wants to be a girl,” the  father blurted out through tear-filled eyes as he entered my office.  He was an enthusiastic father, an articulate, well-educated man, with a passion for God and truth. His wife was with him, tears streaming from her face as she saw the pain in her husband’s heart.  She was a gentle mother with a deep passion for her family and an even deeper passion for the Lord.

“How old is your boy?” I asked.

“He is five and this has been going on for two years.”

…

How do you know that your son wants to be a girl?” I asked. The dad’s response was one that I had heard before and in many ways, was indicative of the confusion I feel exists with gender development in sensitive boys.  The dad began to tell me a myriad of examples where the son was drawn to things the father identified as female:  “He is fascinated with women’s shoes.  He puts his t-shirt over his head and pretends he has long hair.  He loves to touch his mother’s silk nightgowns.  He is fascinated with Ariel in the Little Mermaid and often wants to be her.”

With a quiver in his voice he stated, “And he put on his mothers skirt and was twirling around like a girl. I told him not to do that because that was like a girl!”

This is an issue I have had to think about recently.  A wonderful, concerned mother sent me an email a few weeks ago asking about her five year old son’s peculiar behavior.  He was indeed doing some of the things the boy mentioned in the article was doing.  They were concerned for him, wondering whether he would turn out gay or not.  The truth is, God created him with he temperament and there isn’t anything gay about his interests.  I really like what Ricky says about sensitive boys. (keep reading…)

The importance of Vision to recovery
Have you ever wondered, “Okay God, I know what I’m recovering from, here; but what am I recovering to?” Ever felt like, in a sense recovery needs you more than you need recovery (in such a formal, programmatic way)? Well, if so, I say “HALLELUJAH!” The truth is you are pondering one of the most important yet overlooked aspects and periods of recovery: Vision!

I want to give you a way of thinking about Vision that will pull your recovery from sexual addictions into the future. My heart is to share a few ideas about areas where you can pay attention and with following-through, enrich the process of recovery with greater meaning, radical redemption, and down-right Kingdom authority. I also want to warn you about some common challenges to Vision to help you anticipate how the enemy will try and take you off your God-ordained course. (keep reading…)

I know what an important question this is to you; it’s a question I’ve asked many times. In the middle of an internal conflict between powerful desires for the same sex and the deep conviction that what the Bible says is true, something’s got to give. What will it be?

For those who are just starting to look at a journey out of homosexuality, we are often thinking in terms of attraction when we ask about change. Will we always feel our same-sex attractions (SSA) so strongly? Will we ever have opposite-sex attractions (OSA) to a satisfying degree?

(keep reading…)

When people use the term “gay agenda,” it can bring many different things to mind. While it’s important to reach out to and love those people in your world who call themselves gay or lesbian, or who are struggling, you also need to be aware that there is a movement to reshape our culture–and it pays no small attention to the hearts and minds of young people.

Not every gay-identified person participates in these often militant efforts, but the efforts are very real and they have specific goals when it comes to youth. Those goals include:

• Promoting homosexual, bisexual and transgender lifestyles as healthy, positive and normal.
• Disintegrating all meaning of gender.
• Silencing and vilifying any different point of view.
• Undermining parental authority to indoctrinate kids.
• Rewriting Christian principles.
• Polarizing students, so that anyone who is not “gay-affirming” is labeled a bigot.

These may seem like pretty extreme statements, but there are several organizations and tens of millions of dollars a year dedicated to these goals. (keep reading…)

There are many things that can make parents wonder if their child is confused about their sexual identity. It’s true that this struggle is not one teens are eager to share with a parent, or anyone for that matter. In the often fuzzy arena of understanding your teenager, here’s how to recognize the serious warning signs.

Help Them Open Up

The best way to make it more likely your child might share a sexual struggle with you is to respond with an attitude of compassion and understanding whenever these types of issues come up. Your reaction to the subject of homosexuality when it comes up in conversation, on TV or through other relationships sends your children a message about whether you are a safe person to confide in. (keep reading…)

It’s not. God is love, and He created us to love Him and each other. You have a very real need to love and be loved by someone–by several someone’s–of the same gender. That’s a need that God cares about, and nobody is saying you should ever ignore it.

But God does have a lot to say about how love is expressed in different kinds of relationships. He created sex to be sacred and special, protected and pure. God didn’t give us a bunch of rules to follow because sex is bad or because He doesn’t want us to have fun. He doesn’t want you or me to lose out on the holy mystery He created it for.

Parents love their children, brothers and sisters love each other, and people also love their pets. One married couple can become very close to another married couple within a community. All of these are wonderful, love-filled relationships. I think we can also agree, though, that bringing sex into the expression of any of these loves would not be good. And these are all relationships that the Bible plainly tells us sexuality is not meant for. (keep reading…)

Many school systems today actively promote homosexuality through lectures on ‘tolerance,’ gay student groups, and in the course of normal classroom education. As a parent, you have tremendous influence in your children’s schools!

Homosexual advocacy groups know that most parents don’t agree with their agenda. Most pro-gay initiatives that effect public schools are executed under the radar to intentionally keep parents out of the loop. Being aware of your school’s policies and curriculum on these subjects will take some initiative, but you have a right to influence the policies of the schools that teach your children.

Make sure you know what policies are in place regarding sexual education and ‘tolerance training.’ Find out what curriculum and books are being made available to students with questions about sexual orientation.

Furthermore, Exodus Youth strongly recommends you get connected with the Christian student organizations in your schools. On the legal playing field, students actually have the most freedom in making an impact on their campuses. Make sure your local Christian clubs (such as Fellowship of Christian Athletes) know about the resources and programs available to help them respond to these issues.

Students can impact their campuses by:

• Educating and equipping Christian students with a Biblical response to homosexuality.
• Responding to pro-gay initiatives through programs like Allies, Too and the Day of Truth.
• Donating Christian-perspective books to public and school libraries.

The Opt-Out notices below provide you with the necessary legal tools to exempt your child from inappropriate homosexual indoctrination at their school.

“GLSEN, the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network, is a growing, well-funded pro-homosexual organization which advocates the practice of dangerous sexual behaviors by children and adults. Using the schools as its major platform, GLSEN conveys these radical ideas primarily through its web site; in books and curricular material; in teacher training workshops; and in after-school homosexual clubs for students. (Pro Family Resource Center)”

Helpful resources:

The Legal Liability of Homosexual Education in Schools (includes sample letters to school officials)

Youth Resources

School Resources

What Gay Student Groups Teach

Activism in the Schools

Following are some of the most common parent’s questions. If you have a general question not answered below, post a comment and we’ll add the answer! For specific issues, don’t hesitate to contact us directly.

• What Does Science Say?
• Why Would Anyone Want to Change?
• What can I do to make a gay person change?
• My friend says if I really love him, I'll accept his homosexuality. Is that true?
• Is there a 'gay agenda' that I should be worried about?
• How Can I Tell if My Child is Struggling?

For more testimonies from family members, .

A Mother’s Story of Change
The testimony of Cherrie.

As a toddler, Jennifer loved books, but I pushed for dolls. She loved wearing pants, I argued for the dresses. I loved fairy tales, but she loved the encyclopedias and National Geographic. Jennifer was artistic and gifted. I was the school drop out with disabilities and a testimony that read much like the “woman at the well.”We were so opposite, and yet more alike than we could see. We were both led by our emotions, which took us on the roller coaster ride of our lives.

(keep reading…)

Here at Exodus Youth we’re committed to creating and providing the best resources for young people affected by homosexuality, and those who love them. The following resources are designed for parents of youth who struggle with homosexuality or who just want to learn more. Click on any product image to purchase.

Homosexuality 101 In this informative DVD, hear testimonies from a former gay man, a former lesbian, and a father who learned his son was gay. Dr. Julie Harren also gives a thorough presentation on the underlying issues that can lead to a struggle with same-sex attractions. DVD – $15.00

When Homosexuality Hits Home In this straightforward book, Joe Dallas offers practical counsel, step by step, on how to deal with the many conflicts and emotions parents, grandparents, brothers and sisters or any family member will experience when learning of a loved one’s homosexuality. Book – $11.99

A Parent’s Guide to Preventing Homosexuality In this groundbreaking book Joseph and Linda Ames Nicolosi uncover the most significant factors that contribute to a child’s healthy sense of self as male or female. Listening to moving recollections from ex-homosexual men and women who describe what was missing in their own childhoods, the Nicolosis provide clear insight for identifying potential developmental roadblocks and give practical advice to parents for helping their children securely identify with their gender. Book – $15.99

Someone I Love is Gay Finding out that a child, spouse, relative or friend is homosexual can be an unwelcome surprise. Someone I Love Is Gay was created out of Bob Davies’s personal and professional experience and out of Anita Worthen’s struggle with her son over these issues. Also drawing on experiences of others, the authors will help you handle your feelings while responding appropriately to your loved one. Book – $12.99

Love Won Out Booklet Series This seven-booklet series provides quick references to many different aspects of the homosexual issue. Whether you want to know more about the roots and causes of male homosexuality, female homosexuality, how to respond to pro-gay theology, relate to gay-identified family members, or any number of issues, this collection has answers. 7 Booklets – $19.00 Individual Booklets – $3.00 each

Dear Friend or Family,

We know that it can be heart-wrenching to learn that a loved one is affected by homosexuality. Friends and family need just as much care and support as the child, spouse, parent, sibling or friend who is gay-identified or struggling with same-sex attractions.

Exodus is a safe place for you to learn more about homosexuality, gain insight for practically caring for your loved one, and get the support you need personally.

Exodus has a wealth of helpful resources and information for you. We pray that you will find resources to bless you in your own process of healing as well as help for your loved family member.

Finding Help for You and Your Loved One

Exodus has member ministries across the country, ready to help you and your family. They provide support for families as well as for homosexual strugglers. Click on to locate a ministry in your area which provides the services that you need. If you can not find one in your area, please contact a ministry in your region – they may know of other resources near you, or be able to serve you long-distance. We have other ministries listed on our page if you can not find what you are looking for.

In addition to the help a specialized Exodus member ministry can provide, you need to find a caring supportive church. The provides a growing list of churches where you will be safe to discuss this topic and find the help you need.

Parent’s Email Prayer List

To encourage mothers and fathers, we have a place of encouragement through our Parents Email Prayer List. This is a place to share your story, and regularly be able to submit requests for prayer or offer up praise in a couple sentences to other parents who are committed to praying together for one another. If you are interested in joining this community, please send a message to .

Community: Online Forums

Living Hope Ministries offers on-line separate forums/communities for several categories of people including for family & friends impacted by homosexuality and for youth desiring to overcome homosexuality. This safe and anonymous community allows healthy growth for young men and women who, helping each other through their healing process. Please visit www.livehope.org for this great community of support.

Resources and Books

For additional resources, we offer a free information packet from our headquarters which you can order online. Note that we do NOT send third-party mailings. We also have a monthly newsletter called the Exodus Impact which can be mailed to you free of charge. Our page offers the information packet, newsletter sign up, as well as other resources and updates we provide.

Our wide collection of books, video and audio available on the topic of homosexuality and related issues can be found when you visit our Online Shopping link. Here you will find an interactive catalog of books.

Professional Counseling

Many Exodus Member Ministries provide lay counseling, and we are continuing to increase the number of therapists available in our Exodus Professional Counseling Network. These are all search-able through our page. If you cannot find an Exodus counselor in your area, NARTH is another option to consider.

NARTH (National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality), is a network of therapists and researchers who agree that people can find change and healing from homosexuality, or Gender Identity Disorder. Their website www.narth.com has several articles on the issues, including research and science supporting their stance. You may call them to request contacts of therapists or counselors in your area from their network by calling . Note this is a secular organization, and you will have to call the therapist or counselors office to find out their religious affiliation.

Other Resources

Please surf through our website using the links on the right of this page. Our , , and are great resources for information and encouragement. Please spend some time among these articles! Make sure to check out the side bar on the left side of your screen. We have many testimonies from men and women who have struggled, as well as stories from the family, friends and spouses around them.

If you need further assistance, please call a local ministry or our office after you have checked out these resources .

Learn More

We have pulled together lists of articles which will be especially helpful for you:

We can’t afford to stay silent any longer

Is homosexuality an issue that needs to be addressed in your youth group? Many youth pastors will quickly respond “Yes, but I’m not sure how to talk about it!” Others may respond “No, that’s not a problem we have at our church.”

The sad truth is that homosexuality is not just an urban problem, or a San Francisco problem, or an “out there” problem – it is an issue for many wonderful young Christian men and woman who struggle with unwanted same-sex attractions. In fact, most people Exodus Youth helps are Christian students who love God and have unwanted same-sex attractions and are scared to death of anyone in their church finding out.

Let me ask an uncomfortable question – would a struggling student in your ministry feel safe disclosing their secret to you? Would they expect compassion and grace, or would gay jokes and attitudes of anger or disgust towards gays leave them fearful of being found out?

When speaking about homosexuality with your youth group, it is vital to speak the whole gospel, not just a Biblical prohibition. The Bible does not stop with condemning homosexual acts as sin, but goes on to express God’s deep love for homosexual sinners and His power to save and transform their lives.

For 30 years, Exodus has proved the truth of 1 Corinthians 6:11 (that the gospel brings freedom from homosexuality) as thousands have overcome homosexuality and moved on to lives of holiness and fruitful service to Christ.

Several years ago, as a campus minister, I was faced with the decision of how to respond to a young man in my church who told me through tears that he thought he might be gay. I felt confused, upset, and sad all at the same time. I wasn’t sure how to respond. Then I remembered how during His days ministering in the towns and cities of Israel, Jesus was known (often with disdain) as a friend of tax collectors, prostitutes, and other sinners. I believe that He calls us today to follow this example of radical compassion for sinners and outcasts, including those dealing with homosexuality.

Exodus will be an important resource as you minister to youth who struggle with same-sex attractions. Our local member ministries can provide speakers to share their testimony of overcoming homosexuality, counselors or mentors to meet with you and the youth, and support groups for them. We can also provide books and other resources for you, the youth, and their parents.

May God give you grace and wisdom as you reach out to these precious young people.

Click here to purchase the Truth & Tolerance Youth Leader Guide

Exodus Youth offers encouraging, educational programs for ministers looking for a relevant and Biblical way to respond to homosexuality.

Youth Programs | Campus Programs

Youth Programs

We have a number of programs for your youth group to participate in. Our member ministries are often available to come in and share a testimony or teaching with your students. If you’re thinking bigger, our Groundswell program typically brings together local churches for adult training and a youth rally.

Groundswell is…

…a Christian event that will equip the Body of Christ to offer the next generation a Biblical and redemptive response to homosexuality. We believe the issues surrounding sexuality and gender present one of the most crucial battlefields for the hearts and minds of young people.

Through Groundswell, we offer an array of events that can be tailored to suit the needs of your community, including:

• Speakers and testimonials for church services and multi-church events.
• Youth rallies for area student ministries.
• Training for youth ministers and volunteers.
• Seminars for parents and educators.
• Providing you with resources for ministry and outreach.
• Information about how to keep your public schools from indoctrinating children with false information about homosexuality.

Groundswell is about…

…educating and equipping Christian youth ministers and their students to express Biblical truth and Christ-like grace to their schools, their peers and their communities. Our goal is to help the Church fulfill its mission to be salt and light in a fallen world, and to minister the Gospel in a relevant way to a generation struggling for its identity.

We believe the Gospel applies to those who struggle with their sexuality, including those who struggle with same-sex attractions, or identify as gay. The Bible clearly teaches that homosexual behavior is outside of God’s will for our lives, but also teaches that transformation and new life are available to all people through a relationship with Jesus Christ.

Don’t you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don’t fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality, or are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people-none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God. Some of you were once like that. But you were cleansed; you were made holy; you were made right with God by calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.
1 Corinthians 6:9-11

Campus Programs

Exodus Student Ministries is available to help Christian college and university campuses or Christian ministries on secular campuses to address homosexuality with truth and compassion. Through personal testimonies, teaching and training, we’ll equip your leaders to effectively minister to individuals who are struggling and create a safe enviornment where people can seek help. You’ll also receive assistance in handling confrontational situations brought about by outside groups seeking to challenge your Biblical policies.

Exodus Campus Programs can include:

• Speakers for chapel services
• Training for student leaders (RA’s and RD’s)
• Group or one-on-one Q&A time with students
• Presentation of personal testimonies of overcoming homosexuality
• Seminars on surrounding issues like root causes, the healing process, how to minister to a struggling friend, Biblical perspectives on homosexuality, etc.

Contact

If you are interested in bringing an Exodus Youth program to your ministry, church or campus, please contact Mike Ensley.

Phone:
Email:

Here at Exodus Youth we’re committed to creating and providing the best resources for young workers on the topic of homosexuality. The following resources are designed to be useful for your own learning, to use with youth, and in the context of youth group ministry. Click on any image to purchase.

 

Truth & Tolerance DVD Meet Mike, Michelle, Zizi and David – four young people who struggled with same-sex attractions. Their personal testimonies of overcoming homosexuality through Christ highlight this compassionate, Biblical look at one of today’s most controversial subjects.It’s a message your students won’t forget. DVD – $20 Main Segment – 25 minutes Other Features – 1 hour, 5 minutes

Youth Leader Guide This comprehensive guide takes youth ministers through the basics of relevant ministry to students who struggle with their sexual identity. It also contains curriculum for youth group lessons, and help answering students; toughest questions about homosexuality. Workbook – $15

Student Guide This workbook is the student’s companion to the Truth & Tolerance Leader Guide. Workbook – $10

God’s Grace and the Homosexual Next Door Author Alan Chambers and four of his colleagues at Exodus International offer practical and biblical insights on how both individuals and churches can become a haven for homosexuals seeking freedom from same-sex attraction.Learn about the roots of homosexuality, reaching youth both within and outside the church, dealing with fear and ignorance in the church, leading gays to Christ, five things not to do in reaching out to gays and much more about this often perplexing subject. Book – $11.99

101 Frequently Asked Questions About HomosexualityHere are compassionate, thorough and Biblical answers to the most often asked questions about homosexuality, fielded by an expert on the subject-Mike Haley. An outstanding resource for anyone wanting to know more about this controversial subject. Book – $11.99

Emotional Dependency for Guys This booklet helps guys understand why we’re sometimes drawn to unhealthy attachments, and gives practical advice for building Godly, meaningful friendships with other young men. Booklet – $3

Reclaim Your School This book is an excellent resource for anyone who desires to understand the in’s and out’s of evangelizing in the public school system. It presents ten easy steps on how best to approach the controversiality of religion and education. This vital resource includes suggestions for students, parents, teachers, ministers, and school boards. All people involved in any aspect of education will profit from this enlightening and easy-to-read book. Book – $9.99

Love Won Out Booklet Series This seven-booklet series provides quick references to many different aspects of the homosexual issue. Whether you want to know more about the roots and causes of male homosexuality, female homosexuality, how to respond to pro-gay theology, relate to gay-identified family members, or any number of issues, this collection has answers. 7 Booklets – $19.00 Individual Booklets – $3.00 each

Outreach Postcards These full-color postcards are a great way to energize a public outreach and get students thinking. Not intended for actual mailing. Pack of 20 – $10 4 designs, 2-sided

There are many powerful stories out there about men and women whom God has delivered from the gay lifestyle. It touches the heart and certainly glorifies God when we see these people getting married and leading godly lives free of homosexuality, but in all honesty, what about the rest of us who deal with this issue and haven’t come to our “happy ending” yet? What about those of us who continue to struggle with same-sex attraction (SSA), even after choosing to follow Christ? We’re caught in a sort of identity limbo, unsure whether we can or even should hope to experience heterosexual desire, get married and start a family someday.
(keep reading…)

It’s not easy being a parent, especially when faced with a controversial and complex subject like homosexuality. On this page, you will find resources for addressing homosexuality. If you have found out that your child is gay, we have many resources to help both you and your child. You can also find support and encouragement through Living Hope’s online forums.

If you are a parent looking to get involved with your child’s school system, we have links to information about the pro-gay education in schools and opt-out forms for protecting your children. If you are a wondering if your child might be at risk for homosexuality, we have contacts where you can learn more and investigate. We also have links to books and resources that you may find helpful.

Help, My Child is Gay!

“Well you know that I’m gay don’t you?”

I will never forget the day I heard those words. For me there has never been a pain so great as learning that only son, at sixteen, decided he was a homosexual!

How could this happen in our family, we were Christians!!! How could my son do this to me? We had always been so close.

My heart was broken, and nothing since that day, many years ago, has ever hurt that bad. I was dev

astated and not sure I would ever be OK again. I needed information but was too embarrassed to ask for it and there was no Internet where you could find out all kinds of things in secret.

But I did learn to trust God more. I had no choice. He brings life into any situation and I felt like I was going to die, sometimes wishing I could die.

Since that time I have grown as a Christian and learned many things. God has used my suffering to help others, making good come out of this painful time.

I encourage you to spend time getting to know God in a deeper way and take one day at a time. May God bless you and keep you through this difficult time.

If your child is gay, we have support both for you and for your child. We provide , books and for parents, so you can process this with other people who understand.

Start by reading Where to Go for Help. Next you will want to join a support group where you can learn more and deal with your own pain. You can also pursue counseling through NARTH for your child. If they are old enough, they can get help and support from your or online through the Living Hope Youth Forums.

Children at Risk

If you believe your pre-adolescent child may be at risk for homosexuality, the Exodus Bookstore has resources that will help you learn more about GID (Gender Identity Disorder) and pre-homosexual conditions.

Your can provide you with referrals to Christian Counselors in your area who can help.

NARTH (National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality) is a professional group of therapists (some Christian, some not) who treat homosexuals and the families of children wtih GID. Contact them for a referral in your area.

Homosexual Parents

Despite news stories to the contrary, homosexual parents have a profound effect on their children. These children are at greater risk for a number of negative factors, including the development of gender confusion and same-gendered attractions.

Linked at right are statements and research from the Christian Medical and Dental Association, the American College of Pediatricians, and the Family Research Institute regarding homosexuality, parenting and adoption.

If you are dealing with difficult legal issues in your family, the Liberty Counsel may be able to help.

CMDA Statement on Homosexuality

Homosexual Adoption

Same-Sex Parenting: Do Mom and Dad Make a Difference?

Legal Assistance (Liberty Counsel)