You Don’t Have to be Gay by Jeff Konrad is a very informal and insightful book for men who struggle with homosexuality.  The book is a compilation of letters written by Jeff to his friend, Mike, a man who was struggling with his identity and whether or not he was born gay.  Jeff Konrad offers encouragement and support to Mike that can be applied to any male who struggles with same-sex attraction.  He begins writing to a distraught Mike who is unhappy in his homosexual life.  Konrad takes the opportunity to share how he overcame homosexuality and what was underlying his own homosexual tendencies.

Konrad’s book is organized in such a way that an easy to follow progression is maintained.  He starts out by discussing the roots of homosexuality and provides great insight into why one may struggle with this issue.  This leads up to the steps to overcoming the homosexual struggle and how to be proactive in the healing process. The formatting of the book is very conversational making it reader friendly and easy to understand.  The strength is found in the clarity and broad spectrum of homosexuality that Jeff discusses. He pulls information from people such as Elizabeth Moberly, Leanne Payne – author of Crisis in Masculinity, and C.S. Lewis to provide evidence and support for his claims.

The topics discussed are very comprehensive and provide an informative look into the homosexual condition. Common questions that a struggling man may have are answered in these letters.  These answers are resourceful to males who struggle with homosexuality.  They are also beneficial for those who don’t struggle, by helping them understand and gain compassion for their friend or loved one who has same-sex attractions.  When I first read this book, I felt the author was addressing it to me.  The letters are filled with warmth, tenderness, and care which can be healing for a person who may have experienced scorn and disgust previously. (keep reading…)

I know what it’s like to believe that God loves everyone except you. I know what it’s like to feel alone. I know what it’s like to feel ashamed of a struggle with sin and be afraid that you’ll be found out and rejected by your friends. I’ve been thinking about all those feelings and the person I was many years ago as I, along with my co-workers, gear up for the annual Day of Truth.

For those who may not know about this event, the Alliance Defense Fund launched it several years ago as a way to present an alternative viewpoint about homosexuality from a Christian perspective.  Exodus International now hosts this event and we want to help Christian students build relationships with gay-identified friends that reflects both the truth and compassion of Jesus Christ. (keep reading…)

There is no question that high schools and middle schools across this nation are ground zero for students who face peer pressure, bullying, low self-esteem, depression, and the like.  One of the most disturbing of these is bullying.  Daily, many students who are different face demoralizing statements about how they act, dress, talk, interact, and how they try to express themselves.  A major target for bullying in schools are students who identify themselves as gay, lesbian, or transgendered.  The bullying starts with name calling, crude jokes, rumors, cyber-bullying, etc, and occasionally ends with students getting beat up, receiving death threats, missing school, changing schools, and in some cases, even attempting suicide.

This article will look at how youth workers can, and must, help students who are facing such bullying in school – knowing that these same things could be happening within local youth ministries as well.  This article is not calling to accept behavior that clashes with Biblical beliefs, rather it’s calling for Christians (especially those who are youth workers) to take a stand against bullying, and start teaching the truth about sharing God’s unconditional love with those who think they are undeserving of such love. (keep reading…)

While you are preparing for Day of Truth and learning more about how to minister and effectively reach gay-identified peers, remember you have a resource much greater than any materials you read.  The Holy Spirit is always present and He goes before you in all endeavors.  Trust His leading and presence when you begin to share the message of freedom to your peers.  He can and will do far greater things than you alone can do!

Knowing the Holy Spirit is present and active when you share your stories, compassion, and the truth, can reduce any stress or fear you have.  This no longer is about what you can do.  Realizing the Holy Spirit is active allows you to step back and allow Him to move.  Sharing on the Day of Truth then becomes what the Holy Spirit can do in and through you.  You don’t have to change people.  You can trust the Lord to use the message of truth you share to impact your peers in His way and in His time.

There’s a familiar saying that I think is important to remember:  You must catch the fish first before you can clean it.  So many people think that homosexuals have to change before they step foot into church – Jesus never demonstrated that.  He never demanded the broken to change before coming to Him.  He knew their need – it was Christ, himself.  He invited them to come to Him and through that interaction He propelled change in their lives. That’s the way it is with our gay friends!  We bring them to Jesus, and then He sets the work of transformation in their lives in His own timing.

Our duty is to meet them right where they are, walk with them, and encourage them.  We can’t be the Holy Spirit in their lives.  But we can be friends who speak truth in love and trust Christ to do the healing work.  He’s the only one who can.  Believing the power of the Holy Spirit will greatly impact how you relate.  Knowing you don’t have to do it all on your own provides a huge relief.  You can allow the Holy Spirit to work and you will begin to see that He isn’t only changing your friend’s life, but you too are being changed in the process.

You’ll find that you aren’t the only one to be an impact in your friend’s life.  When I was in the early stages of walking free from a homosexual identity I didn’t think I could offer anything.  People could pour into me, but there wasn’t anything in me to pour out into others.  But as relationships grew and strengthened I found that my friend was being poured into as well.  We were both being blessed and changed through our friendship.  One friend even began to share his struggles more openly with another friend and me because I had been so vulnerable with my struggle with homosexuality.  So be open and willing to receive whatever the Lord has for you through any relationships that may come about.

We are all on a journey.  Some of us are just a few steps ahead of others.  Some actually have a heading, while others are still lost and wandering with no direction.  We, as Christians, have direction and we are to find the wanderers and point them to our heading – Christ. No matter if we are maturing Christians, new Christians, or ones that have not yet found Christ, God has some growing to do in all of us.  He’ll begin to transform your struggling, gay-identified friend, but don’t miss out on the change He wants to do in your life too!

Mike Ensley was featured in the webzine :

Touch the Sexual Sinner
by Mike Ensley

Nobody needs to be told about the startling statistics regarding youth and sexuality. A rant about how the media and entertainment industry push the envelope would just be stating the obvious to anyone with ears to listen.

What gets me ranting is the Church’s response; all too often living in the definition of insanity in regards to responding to the crisis of our culture. Despite its monumental failure to accomplish anything in the way of personal transformation, too many Christians – worse, those in ministry – seem bent on responding with our most ineffective asset: religion.

Homosexuality is one of those issues where I feel like my personal views as an apprentice of Jesus Christ are often misquoted. People like me don’t tend to take out letters in the paper or hold sandwich signs during gay Rights Day. I stand back and watch as the louder voices on each side of the issue get the press coverage. It seems like all that I get is misunderstood, mischaracterized, and maligned. And there is a growing group of people like me. (keep reading…)

Every week at Exodus we get phone calls, emails and letters from teenagers who are struggling with same-sex attraction–and nobody knows. The fact is, whether your youth group is large or small, you could have students who are confused about their sexual identity and aren’t telling you.

Let’s face it: pastors are among the last people struggling teens feel comfortable confiding in. It probably has something to do with the fact that homosexuality isn’t talked about in church–and when it is, it’s often treated rather harsh and simplistically.

The best way to encourage those students to open up to you is to talk about the issue with grace, truth and understanding. When they see that homosexuality doesn’t freak you out, that you understand that nobody chooses that struggle, and most of all that you love and care about people who find themselves in that situation, they’ll be far more likely to trust you with their secret struggle–rather than a friend or schoolteacher who might point them down the wrong path. (keep reading…)

Why do we speak up about what the Bible says about homosexuality? Why do some of us who have walked away from it go public with our stories? What’s the point of trying to communicate this message to a culture that doesn’t want to hear it? These are important questions that each of us needs to have answered in our own hearts. Here is some of what motivates us.

(keep reading…)