By Brenna Kate Simonds

The recent suicides that are related to bullying have brought back some not-so-pleasant memories for me. I’m sure I’m not alone.  Coming out of the closet (or rather, being pushed out kicking and screaming) as a high school student in 1990-ish in small-town New Hampshire was not fun. I always joke that Ellen didn’t come out for another 7 years I was made fun of, harassed, threatened, and insulted.  I remember sitting in class and having a peer tell me that all gay people should be put on an island and blown up, as my teacher sat there and said nothing.  I spent many classes just putting my head down on my desk and crying. I remember once being harassed so severely that I got up and walked out of the class because the anxiety of sitting there, in that class, overwhelmed me.  I went to the principal’s office, as I couldn’t think of anywhere else to go.  He didn’t ask me if I needed anything, didn’t ask me why I left my class, didn’t send me to the guidance counselor even though I was visibly upset; he just told me I could sit in the waiting area until my next class.

The harassment wasn’t limited to school hours.  I would walk down the street and people would threaten me from their cars, yelling insults and screaming “Dyke”.  I also wasn’t just bullied because I was same-sex attracted; I was bullied because I was smart, because I dressed differently, because I was a “band fag” – the list went on and on. (keep reading…)

An article was recently published in The New York Times reporting that middle school youth are more open to coming out earlier.  It’s a rather lengthy article focusing on several middle school teens who have come out in their schools and to their families.  It’s interesting to see how the climate has changed in middle schools even since I was there a little over ten years ago.  Being gay was still somewhat taboo.  It was only used as a humiliating term.  You were labeled, but never did you claim that identity.  I remember middle school being a very confusing time period for me and everyone else.  In my day (which wasn’t too long ago), little identity clusters started to form in middle school.  You had the “cool” kids, you had the “preppy” kids, and there were the nerds, and the unpopulars.  Everyone was looking for an identity – wanting to fit in…somewhere.  (keep reading…)

I had a friend in high-school who was my first best-friend.  We spent all of our free time together.  For the first time in my life, I felt loved and accepted for who I was. This was an exciting time for me.  I grew close to this friend and to her family.  There were times soon after my parents’ divorce that I didn’t go home for days, spending more and more time at my friend’s house.  We were not in a lesbian relationship, but when my mom asked me if my friend and I were homosexually involved, I had to admit to myself that I wished we were.  If we were a “couple,” then she would never leave me and I would always feel the thrill of having someone truly care about me and value me as a person.

(keep reading…)

What happened to the cute freckle-faced girl from The Parent Trap?  I don’t know Lindsay Lohan or any of the interpersonal dynamics that shaped her life.  My knowledge of Lindsay is limited to what I’ve learned through the media.  From that perspective, I will offer my point-of-view on LiLo’s chaotic life leading up to her relationship with Samantha Ronson.

Lindsay’s father was in jail for a significant portion of her childhood.  She’s now seeking a protective order against him.  It’s clear that LiLo doesn’t like MiLo.  And, although Michael Lohan now professes faith in Jesus and works with Teen Challenge, being a convicted felon didn’t make him much of a role model, at least not from Lindsay’s viewpoint. Parental role models are crucial in helping us develop into secure adults.  They provide boundaries for us and teach us how to relate to the outside world.  When those role models are insecure with themselves (or absent altogether), it is difficult for them to provide us with the direction we need.  (keep reading…)

One of life’s greatest challenges for me has been to be comfortable in my own feminine skin. I am finding that many women, whether they have struggled with same-sex attraction or not, have been frustrated with and had serious questions regarding what being a “Woman” means. If you happen to struggle with lesbianism, please know that you are not alone in dealing with the awkward, difficult, and often distressing realities of being female…feminine.

Throughout childhood and adolescence I steered clear of everything “girly.” No dolls or dresses for me. Instead of sweet nicknames like “Princess” I was the Great Green Frog, Sausage Legs, Lester, Pack Mule, and best of all Lumpy when I was going thru that awkward stage of early adolescence. The last time I was mistaken for my mother’s son was when I was a sophomore in college.

I think part of my problem has been that I am competitive by nature. If I didn’t have a shot at being the best, why play. As for beauty, brains and brawn: I did well in school. I was strong as an ox, some said, and did well in competitive swimming. Yet, I knew I was never going to be pretty so why even try. In fact it made me feel better to degrade anything feminine. I was strong and confident on the inside and it did not matter what I looked like on the outside. I was not going to make a big fuss just to please others who might be looking at me. (keep reading…)

I heard Katy Perry’s song “I Kissed a Girl (And I Liked It)”.  I love upbeat, care-free songs with catchy tunes.  It reminds me of high-school summers, hanging out with friends and riding the bus to the beach.  Like most people, I listen to music for the music.    When I was a teenager, I didn’t know the words to half the songs I heard.  The other half, I sang along with when they played on the radio, because it was fun and I liked the sound.  So what is the big deal if Katy sings that she kissed a girl?  I don’t listen for the lyrics, I listen for the music.  That’s why they call it music.

(keep reading…)

Many Christians are intimidated by the issue of homosexuality because it seems so hard to understand. Some decide they can’t minister to a person struggling with it because they just don’t know enough. After all, how can you minister relationally to someone going through something that feels totally alien to you?

The answer is, you can probably relate to those who struggle with SSA a lot more than you think!

If you look at homosexuality on a surface level–simply as sexual and/or romantic desires for the same sex–it’s probably not something you can relate to at all. It’s important to realize, though, that the attractions are not what this struggle is all about. In truth, the underlying issues that someone with SSA needs to deal with are a lot more universal than even they realize. (keep reading…)

People only change when they decide to for themselves; you cannot force anyone to make a change they don’t want to. Still, you can definitely be a support to Christians seeking a way out of homosexuality or lesbianism.

First, you can pray for an unsaved homosexual person and share the gospel with them. If you are relating with a Christian struggling with this issue, you can pray for them, too. Pray God will give them the courage and perseverance to achieve sexual abstinence. Sexual activity usually covers deep wounds. Once activity stops, the “pain-killer” of sex wears off and underlying emotional pain can surface. Be there to listen and support them in this process. (keep reading…)

Human sexuality is a wonderful work of art designed by God. It has emotional, spiritual and physical aspects that all work together in a beautiful and mysterious way. Unfortunately, in a fallen world this delicate design is often misunderstood by us and sometimes abused by others.

Everyone’s body is sexual. Once puberty hits, there are parts of the human body designed to react to stimulation by experiencing pleasure. These body parts–called “erogenous zones”–don’t have a mind of their own. They don’t know who or what is touching them, whether it’s a male or female, or if the situation is right or wrong; they just respond to physical touch the way they are designed to, regardless of circumstance. (keep reading…)

When people use the term “gay agenda,” it can bring many different things to mind. While it’s important to reach out to and love those people in your world who call themselves gay or lesbian, or who are struggling, you also need to be aware that there is a movement to reshape our culture–and it pays no small attention to the hearts and minds of young people.

Not every gay-identified person participates in these often militant efforts, but the efforts are very real and they have specific goals when it comes to youth. Those goals include:

• Promoting homosexual, bisexual and transgender lifestyles as healthy, positive and normal.
• Disintegrating all meaning of gender.
• Silencing and vilifying any different point of view.
• Undermining parental authority to indoctrinate kids.
• Rewriting Christian principles.
• Polarizing students, so that anyone who is not “gay-affirming” is labeled a bigot.

These may seem like pretty extreme statements, but there are several organizations and tens of millions of dollars a year dedicated to these goals. (keep reading…)

There are many things that can make parents wonder if their child is confused about their sexual identity. It’s true that this struggle is not one teens are eager to share with a parent, or anyone for that matter. In the often fuzzy arena of understanding your teenager, here’s how to recognize the serious warning signs.

Help Them Open Up

The best way to make it more likely your child might share a sexual struggle with you is to respond with an attitude of compassion and understanding whenever these types of issues come up. Your reaction to the subject of homosexuality when it comes up in conversation, on TV or through other relationships sends your children a message about whether you are a safe person to confide in. (keep reading…)

Many school systems today actively promote homosexuality through lectures on ‘tolerance,’ gay student groups, and in the course of normal classroom education. As a parent, you have tremendous influence in your children’s schools!

Homosexual advocacy groups know that most parents don’t agree with their agenda. Most pro-gay initiatives that effect public schools are executed under the radar to intentionally keep parents out of the loop. Being aware of your school’s policies and curriculum on these subjects will take some initiative, but you have a right to influence the policies of the schools that teach your children.

Make sure you know what policies are in place regarding sexual education and ‘tolerance training.’ Find out what curriculum and books are being made available to students with questions about sexual orientation.

Furthermore, Exodus Youth strongly recommends you get connected with the Christian student organizations in your schools. On the legal playing field, students actually have the most freedom in making an impact on their campuses. Make sure your local Christian clubs (such as Fellowship of Christian Athletes) know about the resources and programs available to help them respond to these issues.

Students can impact their campuses by:

• Educating and equipping Christian students with a Biblical response to homosexuality.
• Responding to pro-gay initiatives through programs like Allies, Too and the Day of Truth.
• Donating Christian-perspective books to public and school libraries.

The Opt-Out notices below provide you with the necessary legal tools to exempt your child from inappropriate homosexual indoctrination at their school.

“GLSEN, the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network, is a growing, well-funded pro-homosexual organization which advocates the practice of dangerous sexual behaviors by children and adults. Using the schools as its major platform, GLSEN conveys these radical ideas primarily through its web site; in books and curricular material; in teacher training workshops; and in after-school homosexual clubs for students. (Pro Family Resource Center)”

Helpful resources:

The Legal Liability of Homosexual Education in Schools (includes sample letters to school officials)

Youth Resources

School Resources

What Gay Student Groups Teach

Activism in the Schools

For more testimonies from family members, .

A Mother’s Story of Change
The testimony of Cherrie.

As a toddler, Jennifer loved books, but I pushed for dolls. She loved wearing pants, I argued for the dresses. I loved fairy tales, but she loved the encyclopedias and National Geographic. Jennifer was artistic and gifted. I was the school drop out with disabilities and a testimony that read much like the “woman at the well.”We were so opposite, and yet more alike than we could see. We were both led by our emotions, which took us on the roller coaster ride of our lives.

(keep reading…)

Here at Exodus Youth we’re committed to creating and providing the best resources for young people affected by homosexuality, and those who love them. The following resources are designed for parents of youth who struggle with homosexuality or who just want to learn more. Click on any product image to purchase.

Homosexuality 101 In this informative DVD, hear testimonies from a former gay man, a former lesbian, and a father who learned his son was gay. Dr. Julie Harren also gives a thorough presentation on the underlying issues that can lead to a struggle with same-sex attractions. DVD – $15.00

When Homosexuality Hits Home In this straightforward book, Joe Dallas offers practical counsel, step by step, on how to deal with the many conflicts and emotions parents, grandparents, brothers and sisters or any family member will experience when learning of a loved one’s homosexuality. Book – $11.99

A Parent’s Guide to Preventing Homosexuality In this groundbreaking book Joseph and Linda Ames Nicolosi uncover the most significant factors that contribute to a child’s healthy sense of self as male or female. Listening to moving recollections from ex-homosexual men and women who describe what was missing in their own childhoods, the Nicolosis provide clear insight for identifying potential developmental roadblocks and give practical advice to parents for helping their children securely identify with their gender. Book – $15.99

Someone I Love is Gay Finding out that a child, spouse, relative or friend is homosexual can be an unwelcome surprise. Someone I Love Is Gay was created out of Bob Davies’s personal and professional experience and out of Anita Worthen’s struggle with her son over these issues. Also drawing on experiences of others, the authors will help you handle your feelings while responding appropriately to your loved one. Book – $12.99

Love Won Out Booklet Series This seven-booklet series provides quick references to many different aspects of the homosexual issue. Whether you want to know more about the roots and causes of male homosexuality, female homosexuality, how to respond to pro-gay theology, relate to gay-identified family members, or any number of issues, this collection has answers. 7 Booklets – $19.00 Individual Booklets – $3.00 each

There are many powerful stories out there about men and women whom God has delivered from the gay lifestyle. It touches the heart and certainly glorifies God when we see these people getting married and leading godly lives free of homosexuality, but in all honesty, what about the rest of us who deal with this issue and haven’t come to our “happy ending” yet? What about those of us who continue to struggle with same-sex attraction (SSA), even after choosing to follow Christ? We’re caught in a sort of identity limbo, unsure whether we can or even should hope to experience heterosexual desire, get married and start a family someday.
(keep reading…)

One of our top priorites at Exodus is equipping youth workers to minister to students affected by homosexuality. We’ve collected terrific resources to help you minister to struggling youth, understand the root causes and treatment of homosexuality, address homosexuality as a church, and confront the false pro-gay theology. The links at right will direct you to a great deal of helpful information. Please don’t hesitate to contact us directly for further assistance. The forums are a great place to go for general questions.

a call to respond

As a youth worker you have been blessed with the awesome responsibility of holding the very keys to a young person’s spiritual life with the hopes of making their lives more fulfilling and rewarding. However you also hold the keys to unlock doors which you may have never believed could be opened – doors that, to those who struggle with sexual sin, may feel are locked forever. (keep reading…)

It’s not easy being a parent, especially when faced with a controversial and complex subject like homosexuality. On this page, you will find resources for addressing homosexuality. If you have found out that your child is gay, we have many resources to help both you and your child. You can also find support and encouragement through Living Hope’s online forums.

If you are a parent looking to get involved with your child’s school system, we have links to information about the pro-gay education in schools and opt-out forms for protecting your children. If you are a wondering if your child might be at risk for homosexuality, we have contacts where you can learn more and investigate. We also have links to books and resources that you may find helpful.

Help, My Child is Gay!

“Well you know that I’m gay don’t you?”

I will never forget the day I heard those words. For me there has never been a pain so great as learning that only son, at sixteen, decided he was a homosexual!

How could this happen in our family, we were Christians!!! How could my son do this to me? We had always been so close.

My heart was broken, and nothing since that day, many years ago, has ever hurt that bad. I was dev

astated and not sure I would ever be OK again. I needed information but was too embarrassed to ask for it and there was no Internet where you could find out all kinds of things in secret.

But I did learn to trust God more. I had no choice. He brings life into any situation and I felt like I was going to die, sometimes wishing I could die.

Since that time I have grown as a Christian and learned many things. God has used my suffering to help others, making good come out of this painful time.

I encourage you to spend time getting to know God in a deeper way and take one day at a time. May God bless you and keep you through this difficult time.

If your child is gay, we have support both for you and for your child. We provide , books and for parents, so you can process this with other people who understand.

Start by reading Where to Go for Help. Next you will want to join a support group where you can learn more and deal with your own pain. You can also pursue counseling through NARTH for your child. If they are old enough, they can get help and support from your or online through the Living Hope Youth Forums.

Children at Risk

If you believe your pre-adolescent child may be at risk for homosexuality, the Exodus Bookstore has resources that will help you learn more about GID (Gender Identity Disorder) and pre-homosexual conditions.

Your can provide you with referrals to Christian Counselors in your area who can help.

NARTH (National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality) is a professional group of therapists (some Christian, some not) who treat homosexuals and the families of children wtih GID. Contact them for a referral in your area.

Homosexual Parents

Despite news stories to the contrary, homosexual parents have a profound effect on their children. These children are at greater risk for a number of negative factors, including the development of gender confusion and same-gendered attractions.

Linked at right are statements and research from the Christian Medical and Dental Association, the American College of Pediatricians, and the Family Research Institute regarding homosexuality, parenting and adoption.

If you are dealing with difficult legal issues in your family, the Liberty Counsel may be able to help.

CMDA Statement on Homosexuality

Homosexual Adoption

Same-Sex Parenting: Do Mom and Dad Make a Difference?

Legal Assistance (Liberty Counsel)