You Don’t Have to be Gay by Jeff Konrad is a very informal and insightful book for men who struggle with homosexuality.  The book is a compilation of letters written by Jeff to his friend, Mike, a man who was struggling with his identity and whether or not he was born gay.  Jeff Konrad offers encouragement and support to Mike that can be applied to any male who struggles with same-sex attraction.  He begins writing to a distraught Mike who is unhappy in his homosexual life.  Konrad takes the opportunity to share how he overcame homosexuality and what was underlying his own homosexual tendencies.

Konrad’s book is organized in such a way that an easy to follow progression is maintained.  He starts out by discussing the roots of homosexuality and provides great insight into why one may struggle with this issue.  This leads up to the steps to overcoming the homosexual struggle and how to be proactive in the healing process. The formatting of the book is very conversational making it reader friendly and easy to understand.  The strength is found in the clarity and broad spectrum of homosexuality that Jeff discusses. He pulls information from people such as Elizabeth Moberly, Leanne Payne – author of Crisis in Masculinity, and C.S. Lewis to provide evidence and support for his claims.

The topics discussed are very comprehensive and provide an informative look into the homosexual condition. Common questions that a struggling man may have are answered in these letters.  These answers are resourceful to males who struggle with homosexuality.  They are also beneficial for those who don’t struggle, by helping them understand and gain compassion for their friend or loved one who has same-sex attractions.  When I first read this book, I felt the author was addressing it to me.  The letters are filled with warmth, tenderness, and care which can be healing for a person who may have experienced scorn and disgust previously. (keep reading…)

An article was recently published in The New York Times reporting that middle school youth are more open to coming out earlier.  It’s a rather lengthy article focusing on several middle school teens who have come out in their schools and to their families.  It’s interesting to see how the climate has changed in middle schools even since I was there a little over ten years ago.  Being gay was still somewhat taboo.  It was only used as a humiliating term.  You were labeled, but never did you claim that identity.  I remember middle school being a very confusing time period for me and everyone else.  In my day (which wasn’t too long ago), little identity clusters started to form in middle school.  You had the “cool” kids, you had the “preppy” kids, and there were the nerds, and the unpopulars.  Everyone was looking for an identity – wanting to fit in…somewhere.  (keep reading…)