Redemptive Vision: “What am I recovering TO?”
Written by: Jayson Graves | November 6th, 2009The importance of Vision to recovery
Have you ever wondered, “Okay God, I know what I’m recovering from, here; but what am I recovering to?” Ever felt like, in a sense recovery needs you more than you need recovery (in such a formal, programmatic way)? Well, if so, I say “HALLELUJAH!” The truth is you are pondering one of the most important yet overlooked aspects and periods of recovery: Vision!
I want to give you a way of thinking about Vision that will pull your recovery from sexual addictions into the future. My heart is to share a few ideas about areas where you can pay attention and with following-through, enrich the process of recovery with greater meaning, radical redemption, and down-right Kingdom authority. I also want to warn you about some common challenges to Vision to help you anticipate how the enemy will try and take you off your God-ordained course.
The bible is clear: “Without a Vision, people will perish!” God wants us to be forward thinkers as a body and as individuals. He has given us each dreams, gifts, talents and passions and He expects a return on His heavenly investment. Well, why is it that so many of us in recovery can’t see past the edge of our 12 steps workbooks? The bottom line is it’s not that we can’t-we often just don’t or simply won’t. But that can change and is changing for many. In fact, men and women all over the world are partnering with God to minister redemption in three key areas: Family, Community, and Culture.
Family Vision
Let’s talk about several ways Family Vision can take place. Maybe you have a spouse who needs a recovery process of their own. They need you to work hard on your own stuff first, but eventually, as a result will be more likely to respond when invited to look at their own issues. (INVITED, being the key word, here!). Perhaps you have kids…they need their parents’ shepherding around their sexuality more than any other time. How about other family or extended kinship? Couldn’t they benefit from your openness regarding the process and victory you’re experiencing? Absolutely!
I have a former client in Tennessee who shared openly with his family about his past struggle, recovery program and healing-as a result, his adult children have entered their own healing partnerships with the Lord and a recovery community of their own. In fact, his daughter wrote a compelling story of faith, openness and purity featuring her dad’s ability to say no to a bunch of peers who wanted him to join them in a visit to a strip club while visiting Las Vegas! Talk about inspiring. Do you think he sleeps easier at night knowing how he’s overcome the enemy’s lies of condemnation and disqualification?
Community Vision
What about our Community Vision? How many times have you recognized an individual you work, attend church with or live near may be struggling? Will you allow God to minister through you to those co-workers, fellow congregants, and neighbors? I know one guy in Reno who was gifted athletically and also suffered from Juvenile Arthritis. When he found out a local girl had the same condition and couldn’t afford treatment, he used his extra time, talent and treasure (which used to be wasted acting-out) to swim across the frigid waters of Lake Tahoe. He raised thousands for her care in the process. Can you get excited about that kind of self-sacrifice? It blows me away!
Cultural Vision
And then there is Vision regarding Culture. Needless to ask, but can you see where the problem of sexual sin has caused erosion and destitution in our land? My friend Shelley Lubben sure has-she’s on a mission to rescue the sexually broken, particularly former actors and actresses in the pornography industry! Then there’s my colleague John Glisson in Georgia, the founder of Higher-Calling.com, one of the most amazing online resources for those trying to heal from sexual brokenness and live a life of purity…a website that gets thousands of hits a day and has helped myriads worldwide. Do you get the sense that these people get excitement and fulfillment from these involvements? Trust me, they’re alive and plugged-in to the Vision they asked the Lord to share with them!
Where do I go from here?
Perhaps you know others on this journey at a similar place of stepping out and you can meet with these people for support and encouragement. I used to meet with a Vision and Leadership group like this for an hour every other week and we discussed these things, challenged one another and took risks. We also anticipated the obstacles that would want to prevent a redemptive partnership with Christ: selfishness, laziness, lack of commitment to our own recovery, being ‘driven’ rather than ‘called,’ pride, arrogance. Listen, these will kill you and steal your dreams so don’t overlook them! Lay them at the cross, pick up your sword and let’s take back the land!
Enjoy the rewards: Hope, Prosperity and Strength
What are your ideas? I mean, I’m not saying you have to go out and save the world tomorrow-focus on getting better as a priority, by all means. But don’t neglect the mandate being given here: “seek the Lord while He may be found,” find out what He means when He says “I have plans to prosper you…to give you a hope and a future,” and “they that wait upon the Lord will renew their strength.” Ask Him to begin showing you your unique, custom-tailored Vision of redemption and then slowly move into that Vision, one step at a time.
3 Responses to “Redemptive Vision: “What am I recovering TO?””
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November 29th, 2009 at 10:10 pm
i read this article hoping that it would give me a sense of
peace.life is already hard enough without this problem. my question
is always about tomorrow and the hopes of a happier future but i
feel like the answer given seems to be so vague and incomplete. and
all of a sudden words like healing, peace, and prosperity seem too
bland for comfort. thats probably because the problem isnt easy.SSA
is complicated. But my vision of recovery is so different from
everyone else’s. My pastor and my mother want me to have a
relationship with christ and abstain from homosexuality. Which i am
finding out may not take away ssa but make it easier to live with.
I dont want to live with it. I cant. I just dont see how they could
want me to?? perhaps they think i’ll live a life of chastity or
maybe even be a preist.They minimize the burden of ssa and resort
to the internet as their source of empathy while other
heterosexuals relate to my problem with their experience with
pornography or adultery. But if only they knew that ssa was so much
more the sexuality.its only a peice to the puzzle.
November 29th, 2009 at 10:42 pm
2nd to last sentence ^^^^ …so much more than* sexuality….
May 31st, 2010 at 6:19 pm
Juan: I can feel your pain – and believe me I know it well. The
struggle in carrying this burden and what’s more, carrying it
without the encouragement of those who can relate to you is
stifling at the least. It seems that often times church is more
discouraging then it is encouraging. A relationship with a pastor
can be both an encouraging and discouraging journey. I’ve been
there, where it feels like the people who claim to love you are
downsizing your problems, substituting ssa with their own sin and
often times giving you five minute instructional on how to overcome
- I call it the “Fix it” pills. But sadly ‘Fix it’ pills hardly
ever work and usually do lead to a deep sense of confusion, anger
and a harsh reality to bitterness growing in your heart which only
leads to condemnation and self blame. You look around at a world so
full of people who are affected by what I call ‘universal sin’. Now
don’t get me wrong. Sin is sin, and ssa will land u hell just like
lying would – that’s why Jesus’ blood is the ONLY WAY THE TRUTH AND
THE LIFE. Our lives are hidden in Him with the Father and that’s
our only claim to forgiveness. What I mean by ‘universal sin’ is
that in which the majority can relate to. For instance: telling a
lie. Everyone can relate. It’s like a band called ‘Three Days
Grace’ they write songs that are instant hits only because their
music can be related to by every listener- disappointment, anger,
sadness. In a lot of ways, it can seem like walking into church is
liking walking into a room where everyone has some kind of common
bond in that they’ve all experienced say a sexual sin or temptation
- but in a moment your left to your own if you give a call for all
those who have struggled with ssa. It’s frustrating, lonely, and
condemning. It might leave you asking, as it has often left me, why
even try? Well Juan, I say all of that to offer this question. What
if all these discouraging realities that I have experienced are
nothing more then lies? Honestly. Take the time to separate
yourself from your noisy surroundings and think about it. Is it
possible that God could be that forgetful(read psalm forty)? Is it
possible that He can be okay with other Christians(who can’t relate
to you) being a (maybe not the, but a) huge source of
discouragement? Is it really His plan that you should be weighted
by the heavy burden of feeling so exposed by the draw toward your
own sex? To feel like you have no safe zone? No place you can
escape the mirage of problems in which ssa is a result and – as you
said – just a piece (even granted a major component)? Because Juan,
if it is His will – if it is His plan – if it His pleasures to see
me or you go through that – then why did He ever bother saving us?
See, you have to ask yourself these questions, because these
questions will define your true belief in Christ. If all these
things are true, then the only question you have left is – is the
Bible wrong? See, people – pastors, parents, mentors, and friends -
their all just bumbling sinners saved by Grace and trying to make
it just as you are. If you let yourself get pulled down by their
shortcomings then granted, you may never see the finish line in
this awful, awful race that we call life. I just challenge you to
think about this. To ask yourself, is Christ dead? Or is He alive?
Is what the Bible says true? Or is it false? And remember, Christ
is the only person who can relate to us – look at Hebrews 4:15-16.
And if it seems unfair that others can relate to each other
(heterosexuals that is) so much more then they can relate to us who
struggle with ssa – then just ask God to take that cross because
it’s to heavy to bear. It sucks being the only person who deals
with this sin in your church. But is that enough to keep you from
fighting for the Kingdom? Is that honestly enough to forfeit the
wonderful promise of following Christ? Personally, the one point I
didn’t like about this article was how it stressed – even without
saying it so much – the point that to heal you need to look for
opportunities to serve. No. That’s no true. Open yourself up to God
and merely be available. If He wants you to minister, minister and
you will experience healing – but don’t look for it. No one is
strong enough to look for ministering opportunities remember that
“..we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works,
which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.”
Ephesians 2:10. God already has the special ministry ready for you
- don’t keep your vision on ministry, keep it on God, and then God
will drop that ministry into your lap. All you have to do is keep
your eye on God and keep your lap open to whatever God drops from
the sky. Remember this salvation was given because in God’s eye’s
we are totally worth it. “not of works lest anyone should boast.”
Ephesians 2:9 I hope this doesn’t sound like a ‘fix it’ pill ‘cause
I don’t mean it to be. God bless,