exodus youth

With so much misinformation in the media today about homosexuality, it’s no wonder that those seeking to leave homosexuality are faced with so much misunderstanding. A popular theory in pop culture today seems to be that a person with same gender attractions would naturally accept and live happily with their sexuality was it not for bigoted, narrow-minded homophobes who constantly make life impossible for gay men and women. That if only society would cease being so intolerant, everyone would be at peace with whatever sexuality they developed and just live without giving it any thought…like someone being left handed or preferring green over blue.

But as we know, sexuality is complicated and trying to reduce it to a neat sound bite only leaves us with more questions than answers. In actuality, the truth lies more to the middle, which should come as no surprise. It’s true that homophobia is alive and well today; groups like the Westborough Baptist church aren’t making the load easier for anybody. I imagine that there are scores of men and women living scared and lonely lives for fear of being rejected by their friends and family. But the opposite is also true, there are scores of men and women who once accepted homosexuality and have since left that behind…for reasons having nothing to do with fear of rejection.

In fact quite the opposite. Many of the people I’ve met over the years used to be openly gay, some were gay activists, and others lived with their partners for years. If they were seeking acceptance surely becoming “ex-gay” (as some have labeled us) was not the way. Those of us who have walked out of homosexuality face a double rejection as many even in the church as well as in the secular and pro-gay world question the validity of our change. So why change? (keep reading…)

I stood in an empty starbucks with my friend Jenny. We were both assigned the sunday opening shift of a newly opened store and our third partner called in sick leaving us alone. She noticed I had been changing over the recent months but not in a positive way. Whereas I was always happy and giddy making jokes and singing cheezy christian songs to make her laugh… now I was growing increasingly dark and detached. As a friend she demanded to know why I was so distant. It was my darkest secret and only one other person knew. My palms sweaty, gripping the aluminum counter, eyes shuffling about the floor, I finally uttered the words that caused me so much pain to admit.

“Jenny,” I said. “I’m Gay.”

“Alright…” she replied, “but do you want to be gay?” No one had ever asked me that before. No one ever gave me that choice. I knew I wasn’t born gay, but somehow I developed homosexual attractions and now I couldn’t make them go away. (keep reading…)