exodus youth

By Brenna Kate Simonds

The recent suicides that are related to bullying have brought back some not-so-pleasant memories for me. I’m sure I’m not alone.  Coming out of the closet (or rather, being pushed out kicking and screaming) as a high school student in 1990-ish in small-town New Hampshire was not fun. I always joke that Ellen didn’t come out for another 7 years I was made fun of, harassed, threatened, and insulted.  I remember sitting in class and having a peer tell me that all gay people should be put on an island and blown up, as my teacher sat there and said nothing.  I spent many classes just putting my head down on my desk and crying. I remember once being harassed so severely that I got up and walked out of the class because the anxiety of sitting there, in that class, overwhelmed me.  I went to the principal’s office, as I couldn’t think of anywhere else to go.  He didn’t ask me if I needed anything, didn’t ask me why I left my class, didn’t send me to the guidance counselor even though I was visibly upset; he just told me I could sit in the waiting area until my next class.

The harassment wasn’t limited to school hours.  I would walk down the street and people would threaten me from their cars, yelling insults and screaming “Dyke”.  I also wasn’t just bullied because I was same-sex attracted; I was bullied because I was smart, because I dressed differently, because I was a “band fag” – the list went on and on. (keep reading…)

A 22-year-old guy recently sent an email to one of our staff asking this very question.  We thought it would be great to provide the answer in a post so that anyone dealing with this same or similar situation could read it.  I’ve asked permission from the student if I could use his question to preface the post.  He agreed, so here is the circumstance he’s facing:

I’ve recently transferred to a new college. One of my new friends here and I discussed becoming accountability partners about a week ago. It usually takes me a while to talk about this kind of stuff with people so I felt blessed it happened so quickly. But then we told each other exactly what was going on and it turns out that both of us struggle with SSA. After that, we both agreed that accountability obviously wouldn’t work between us and that sharing these kinds of deep struggles with each other won’t help matters, under the circumstances. We’ve both been committed to Christ and have never pursued any unhealthy relationships and don’t intend to, but I’m having trouble knowing exactly how I should handle our friendship from here on out. Since you work in ministry and work with others that likely deal with the same issues, what do you do to avoid conflict or temptation? The last thing I want to do is make a brother stumble. I have been praying for years for someone who could relate to what was going on in my own life. I know God had a hand in us meeting. But I’d like to respect my friend in his walk and at the same time honor God in our friendship. Thanks for any input. (keep reading…)

The news about the four young men who committed suicide recently has left many of us angry and saddened at the inexcusable loss of these individuals to bullying. I’m sure all of us know bullying is a constant occurrence in schools.  It’s something sadly unavoidable for many teens.  It breaks my heart to hear of lives cut short because of constant harassment from peers.  These tragic deaths should give us pause and make us think of what we can do to prevent this from happening again.

Whether a person is gay identified or is perceived as gay, no one deserves to be treated as objects of amusement or habitual verbal or physical harassment.  Every single person has value and worth in the eyes of our Creator.  Each breath is a gift from God and He treasures all those He brought into this world. With that knowledge and understanding, we must stand up for all individuals who are bullied and degraded. (keep reading…)