Exodus Youth Wants to Hear From You!
Written by: Chris Stump | July 20th, 2010Hello all! As you can tell, the youth website has not been updated in a while. I sincerely apologize for the lack of communication. We are in the process of searching for someone to
devote their whole time on the Exodus Youth department, as this is a much needed area of attention. So please be praying for provision and for the right person to come along. In the mean time, a few of us here at Exodus will be managing EY.net as we have been doing. Our International Freedom Conference has come and passed, and what an amazing time it was to connect with other people in Irvine! If you have any stories of your time at the conference please send them to me on here or at . I’d love to hear about them.
On another note, we want to hear from you! What kind of articles would you like to see posted here? What conversations do you want to get started? What answers are you looking for? How can we better serve you here on the website?
Let the suggestions/comments begin!
7 Responses to “Exodus Youth Wants to Hear From You!”
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July 22nd, 2010 at 10:05 am
chris It would be great if you could publish an article or
something directly about masturbation. The Bible says that we
should flee from all lusts, and masturbation is many times a result
of lust. Unfortunately, I feel as if this is a taboo subject in the
modern churches, especially since there is no direct mention of it
in the Bible. I once heard that 95% of all guys struggle with this
(and that the other 5% are liars). Doing my own reading, I have
heard so many different views on this subject, whether or not it is
a sin and all. It would be great if you could clear this up for all
of us.
July 22nd, 2010 at 7:58 pm
Change, I appreciate your boldness, that’s quiet the request
The
About two years before I became a Christian I
– but we have to remember that the old
God bless!!
subject, of which I will refer to as MA, is something that most
guys do struggle with. I’ve sought help and direction, but the
subject is very much shunned and most Christian leaders that I’ve
talked to usually either don’t reply, or say that’s something they
don’t want to talk about. The truth is, every guy pretty much does
deal with it, which is why it is so taboo for most ‘leaders’ to
discuss because usually they themselves have to guard lest they too
fall into the ‘habit’ again. This is something that I’d like some
feedback on though: When I became a Christian I sank my teeth deep
into the new testament. Books like Ephesians, Romans and 1 John
become books that I read, reread and reread. Before I became a
Christian I was just a bit of a porn junky, I looked it up as often
as I could. This of course lead to a steady and constant diet of
MA. When I became a Christian I experienced something that later on
I found out C.S. Lewis would write of in his book – Screwtape
Letters – called ‘The New Christian Victory Walk’. Basically, this
is something along the lines of (and don’t get me wrong, not
everyone experiences this) a person, myself, becomes a Christian
and then INSTANTALY HUGE mountains, such as MA disappear. In God’s
grace the habit wasn’t even a struggle the first few months of
Christianity. It was incredible, I never thought of it – sooooo
unlike my old life! – and never practiced it at all! But that was
only for a time. Something I’ve learned is that God does this
sometimes, only to allow you to see how powerful He is before He
puts you into the fight again. Gradually, the whole issue became a
problem again. I always felt like it was wrong, but after years of
having no reason to not do it because I wasn’t saved, I quickly
forgot my conscience to the point that it was like second nature to
me and even pure in some respects. After becoming a Christian, I
knew that it was wrong for me though. There was just something
inside of me that was tooooo uncomfortable not only with the act,
but the ideas behind the act. I did two things. I talked to my dad
who gave me a very vague point of view, and then I wrote my pastor
with this same question ‘is MA wrong?’, he never got back to me.
Now, I can understand their reasons for not wanting to talk with a
teen about something so mature, but at the same time I felt like
exploding because something inside told me ‘THIS IS WRONG’ yet
every time it came to trying to find a reason for it’s ‘wrongness’
I always came up with empty half mumbled answers and unfinished
thoughts. I didn’t feel like anyone was being really honest with
me, and even now still don’t. So, I decided I’d look for myself.
Ready to be confused? I love the Bible. It’s the water on which I
live and the light in which I walk. Every day I try and think of
the psalms “Lord, in Your Light do I see Light”, but sometimes it’s
confusing!
actually remember my pastor saying that MA was wrong from the
pulpit. Although, when I tried questioning him personally on the
subject and voicing some of my confusion, he said he felt like God
didn’t want him to be talking about that with me. Confusing again.
The passage he condemned MA with was Ephesians 5:3 “But fornication
and all uncleanness or covetousness, let it not even be named among
you, as is fitting for saints;” In the Greek, the word
‘Fornication’ literally means all sexual acts outside of marriage.
So that was his standing that he presented to the church…and
honestly, when I read that for myself, it became enough for me. But
then I read something else that completely stumbled me back into
second guessing. “If any man has an emission of semen, then he
shall wash all his body in water, and be unclean until evening.”
Leviticus 15:16 Now, I’m no Bible scholar at all, but I do know to
take things in context. The context of this verse is the law of
Moses to the people of Israel (totally different dispensation and
everything!) concerning what God says is okay about bodily
discharges. Now in the verses above this one the Bible is speaking
of a man with a disease of some kind of something, and his
discharge is unclean as a result of sin, thus making a case for
atonement in animal sacrifice – which is a sign of sin being paid
for. But this verse doesn’t talk of sin at all. No, it talks of a
single man having his own emission of semen and then washing ‘all
his body in water’ and washing any garment that semen might have
touched. Now notice, no sacrifice, no atonement for sin at all -
sooooo, no sin. God’s orders are only in the interest of the health
of the man and the cleanliness of the things around him. Now, right
under that there is a verse that speaks of marital sex and again,
it’s not a sin. The orders from God are only in the interest of the
man and woman’s health. So that’s both arguments that I’ve heard,
and I’d honestly like some one’s input on this comment. For me
personally, that is until the Lord leads me otherwise, I daily ask
God to keep me in His grace where in I find strength to put to
death this urge and temptation. For one, the old testament is
awesome, and I’m pretty sure it’s Romans 9(?) that says all
scripture is good for reproof – well, maybe not Romans, but it’s
one of Paul’s epistles
testament is the old testament. The dispensation of the law of God
through Moses has long since gone and we are in the dispensation of
Grace. So, in grace I stand daily and try my best to fight MA. I’m
not saying I’m right and that I’m always successful in my fight.
I’m also not saying that others are wrong; I’m just saying that
this is my own conviction and the current dispensation allows me to
form my own personal conviction as well. I hope that maybe this
comment about what God has shown me can help someone else. Keep in
the light Change, only there can we see His Light
August 7th, 2010 at 12:03 am
Thanks for that article on masturbation! It’s something I’ve
struggled with and I’m really glad to see something up here about
it! I just joined this site, and came out to my friends as gay
recently to a few of my friends. I’ve known for a while, but
telling people (something God laid on my heart and gave me the
strength to do, because I was NEVER gonna tell anyone) has made it
seem so…I dunno, final and real. And the problem is, I know it’s
wrong. I know it’s not in God’s will for my life, and I feel guilty
for the feelings of SSA that I have. But I’ve always liked being
different from everyone else. For example, I have 7 typewriters, a
record collection, and a 1972 Volkswagen Beetle. Not the typical
interests of a 17-year old guy, right? But lately, I’ve noticed
that my SSA is becoming another way for me to become different,
another way for me to stand out from all my “normal” Christian
friends. Something that they can’t understand fully, some big
problem that I alone have. It’s almost like I enjoy feeling sorry
for myself, I enjoy the embarrassment and the whatever else
feelings I get when I feel guilty or whatever about my SSA. And
then when I tell someone that I’m gay or who I have feelings for (a
good Christian friend of mine, he’s straight) I get some sort of
weird twisted enjoyment. It’s nerve-wracking to tell them these
things and takes courage that only can come from God to do so. I
can’t figure out if it comes from relief that they know that about
my problem, that they can pray for me, or if I actually like
telling people that, because it makes me different from them. I
just can’t figure out where that feeling is coming from, or even
what my mindset on SSA even IS. It makes me different, and I get
some strange twisted enjoyment out of being different in that way.
I don’t know if I’m even making sense, it’s all really confused in
my head and I’m just trying to make sense of it. I’m not sure if
it’s really possible to write an article on this, but I’m just
tired of this cycle of shame and guilt about feeling this way about
my attractions. I’ve prayed about it but I still feel lost. Sorry
for the long post…
August 10th, 2010 at 9:33 am
Hi Clark B,
I know what you are talking about. A few years in my own journey, I would do some of the same things. I used my homosexual struggle as a way to feel different and be perceived as different. Honestly, it was just another way of labeling myself with a lie. I had grown up feeling different, so even though I was pursuing freedom from homosexuality, proclaiming it as a way to feel different was somehow keeping me comfortable. I still believed I was different from other guys. Whether I knew it or not, I was defining my self by my struggle. That’s all I knew. It took a while to realize that my struggle was no different than a heterosexual guy’s struggle. We both struggle with the same root issue, it’s simply manifested in different ways. I began to realize that I was still defining myself by my homosexual attraction. It only made sense to be seen as someone with a “limp”. So I decided I was no longer going to live under an identity I wasn’t supposed to carry. So I stopped sharing my struggle with guys as soon as I met them. I allowed them to get to know me for Chris, not for my homosexual temptation. I began to slowly walk out of the identity as ex-gay, and walk into my identity as a Christ-follower. It was so freeing to do that. I no longer had to be a pity project. Guys loved me for me, and cared for me for me, not for my struggle. Is this helpful?
August 17th, 2010 at 10:57 pm
Chris, thank you for that! Sorry it took a while to get back to
you, I meant to reply earlier. But you’re exactly right, I’ve been
defining myself by my attractions. I’ve been trying not to do that
in the last week, instead I tried to start walking into my identity
as a follower of Christ. I know this is just a small step but
before I just felt sort of lost, not really sure what to do. Now I
have a goal, something that I can work towards. I really have no
clue what I would do without this site, everything I’ve found on
here has been a huge help to me!
August 18th, 2010 at 3:15 pm
That’s so great to hear Clark! It is a process, and something that will take time to rewire your brain and thoughts, but don’t give up. You are so much more than who you are attracted to. Just continue to walk in the truth and grace of Christ, and shed the lies of the enemy. It will get easier to embrace and live out of this new identity over time. Blessings man!
September 27th, 2010 at 6:06 pm
What do I have to do to get on a trajectory of healing? What can
the church do to help me in my struggle? How do I salvage my
relationship with God when I don’t think He even cares about me?
Where is he? What if this struggle makes me just not want to be
involved with church anymore? How much hope for change is there
actually? Where can you talk to people who have changed? Neither
living out the “gay” life, nor trying to be straight are
fulfilling. Also, while Christ is supposed to fulfill us, it never
feels that way anyhow. What the heck am I supposed to do? Why is
this issue such a big deal? etc, etc, etc.