Ministry to Gay Students
Written by: Shawn Harrison | August 20th, 2009There is no question that high schools and middle schools across this nation are ground zero for students who face peer pressure, bullying, low self-esteem, depression, and the like. One of the most disturbing of these is bullying. Daily, many students who are different face demoralizing statements about how they act, dress, talk, interact, and how they try to express themselves. A major target for bullying in schools are students who identify themselves as gay, lesbian, or transgendered. The bullying starts with name calling, crude jokes, rumors, cyber-bullying, etc, and occasionally ends with students getting beat up, receiving death threats, missing school, changing schools, and in some cases, even attempting suicide.
This article will look at how youth workers can, and must, help students who are facing such bullying in school – knowing that these same things could be happening within local youth ministries as well. This article is not calling to accept behavior that clashes with Biblical beliefs, rather it’s calling for Christians (especially those who are youth workers) to take a stand against bullying, and start teaching the truth about sharing God’s unconditional love with those who think they are undeserving of such love.
Read what two students write about their current school experience:
Male Student – 11th grade
“I have learned that harassment in schools is a norm. Kids would scream the term ‘faggot’ as they saw me in the halls. None of the teachers said a word, and that is what scared me. I don’t feel safe at my school because I’m gay.”
Female Student – 12th grade
“I stayed home because everyone hated me so much that it made me hate myself, and I thought there was something completely wrong with me. I missed almost three weeks in a row to avoid seeing the other students.”
As a gay teen in high school, I can clearly identify with both students. The majority of my teachers did not respond to the comments made by my peers in the halls and classrooms. Regardless of why they did not respond, the result is the same: there are too many teens unjustly being bullied in schools. Whether students are gay, have braces, wear glasses, or do not act manly/feminine enough, bullying (harassment) of any kind is wrong and damaging. As stated before, the extreme consequence of receiving such mistreatment from peers can lead some students to become suicidal. Some may have constant thoughts but never go through with the actions (like myself, who identified as gay), and some may actually plan their death and eventually follow through with it.
It’s important to understand whether the teen is a Christian or not does not determine our response to them: we are to love regardless. In saying that, I fully believe we are to love in truth, just as Jesus taught (John 4 and 8 are perfect examples of this idea of loving in truth). This is not to say that we are to compromise truth for the sake of someone feeling accepted, rather this is to say that we speak the message of truth through authentic actions of love – again, just as Jesus exemplified. This type of authentic love goes beyond the cliché: “hate the sin, love the sinner.” Everyone knows that scripture calls homosexuality a sin, as every Christian is quick to tell gays and lesbians, although not everyone knows the love and grace of Christ, because the Church is often too slow at showing it to the gay community. Authentic love looks past the person’s faults, and looks into their hearts. Yes, Jesus called out sin, but He first went to the root of the matter: the person’s need for God’s love. Jesus then dealt with the wrong ways they were striving to attain authentic love through other means.
Besides, whenever Christians use the cliché: “hate the sin, love the sinner,” the only thing the gay community hears is HATE. That is not the message of the gospel – LOVE is.
The Youth Worker
The most important issue is this: does the student have a relationship with Christ? This is the foundation of every struggle and issue. If the person does not have a personal relationship with God, why should they change their behaviors and follow the standards of God vs. the standards of the world? The next important issue, once the student has accepted Christ, is this: how are they nurturing their relationship with Christ? The youth worker needs to be asking questions, like: Do they have people walking along side of them (discipleship of some form); how is their relationship with their parents and peers; what are some things that God is bringing forth that needs restoration; are there questions or doubts that the student is struggling with?
In evaluating these questions, here are some essentials that all youth workers must embrace before ministering to gay students (even those who haven’t come out but are still struggling with the issues):
1. Be ready to deal with your own stereotypes and prejudices. If you are tense about discussing this issue, if you are uncomfortable around gay people in general, you must deal with these things before any gay student will trust you and open up to you. They want (and need) to feel safe. Youth workers need to continuously be informed about the issues surrounding homosexuality!
2. Be willing to pray for wisdom, understanding, and for God’s pure love to flow through you. When dealing with students who struggle with their sexual identity, many feel unsure about themselves and about being around their same-sex peers. Many have several layers of “stuff” built around wounded hearts. The more you pray for God’s Spirit to pour from you into students, the better prepared you’ll be in this journey.
3. Be aware: this is a journey, not a walk-in-the-park. Do not bail out on a student once you have begun this journey with them – unless you already have someone to take your place (one that the student already knows and trusts). Please determine to stay the course. Too many times, too many people have started to walk with gay teens and have left them standing alone when the going gets tough. Given that most gay teens have unhealthy relationships, the last thing they need is their youth worker walking out on them too.
4. Be advised: same-sex attraction is mainly about broken relationships between the sexes. Students need to find and connect with healthy same-sex relationships. This needs to be done with great discernment and prayer. Those connected to gay teens should be people who are spiritually mature in their faith. It would be beneficial to use men and women who have gone through some (or all) the struggles the teen is facing. However, make sure that those adults can handle walking along side a gay teen.
5. Be ready to offer counseling as a means to help your students open up about the pending issues. Refer students to outside support groups and counseling when needed – and it will be needed. Also, besides finding the students resources, be sure to find parents resources too. Family support groups are a big plus in helping parents stay connected with their struggling teen.
6. Be ready to set strict guidelines in your ministry: no gay jokes, no gay puns, no gay anything … it is not cool and it does major damage to those within the group. Remember the quotes at the beginning of this article. Gay students are looking for a safe place to plug into. In saying this, change your vocab – the students follow by example; teach about all sin, not just the-gay-verses; God hates all sin, and no sin is higher than another.
7. Be ready to pray. And when you have finished praying, pray again. As said before, the more you invite the Spirit in to your situation to lead and direct you, the greater the results.
The Student
Youth workers need to understand and communicate to students what the overall result is. Let me first say, the overall result is not to become a manly/womanly heterosexual, getting married, or having kids. The overall result is simply this: to seek after God’s identity. At the fall (Gen 3), mankind lost his focus on whose identity he was to be living for – his own vs. God’s. I firmly believe that one of the main roots to every problem and addiction is the fact that we humans are consumed with finding ourselves that we never seek after our Creator’s image. Repeatedly Christ has called us to seek after the Father’s heart and to take on HIS identity, so that we can ultimately walk the path laid before us.
True healing and freedom came for me when I gave up my failed pursuits of becoming “straight” – by my definition – and pursued God’s identity and His wholeness. In that I found the things I longed for.
I am aware that each person and situation is different. Some youth struggling with homosexuality are at a place of desperation and are ready for a ‘leap of faith’; and some are not. While these are steps of action, as youth workers, we need to understand that this journey of healing is a process. We must not give our students false hope, and we ourselves should not rely on false hope. Rather we must believe that God is faithful, His Word is inerrant, and His power is limitless. As we walk in the truth of Jesus’ sanctification, our students who are struggling will follow beside us.
In saying that, here are some essentials that youth workers must communicate to gay teenagers – both within their ministry and outside of it.
1. You are valued. Students need to understand that despite being rejected by other people, there is a God who unconditionally loves them for who they are – no matter what.
2. There is hope. Many students struggling with sexual identity issues honestly believe that they are beyond hope and beyond a life worth living. Instilling the truth within them that God offers them hope is vital. Speak of, and help them hold on to, various promises of the Bible.
3. Your life has purpose. With the amount of scars, wounds, abuse, and other negative things piling up against them, many students convince themselves that there is not hope for a better life. Again, speak God’s truth over them, and help them to embrace the essence of God’s eternal love.
4. You have a name. Nothing creates more damage to one’s soul than a peer constantly referring to you as an adjective (faggot) rather than as a person. Just because a student is gay or lesbian does not mean that they have to be constantly reminded of it.
5. For those who want to change: Who you were does not define who you will always be. Once Jesus has freed students from their ‘gay life’, He has freed them from all labels, past behaviors, and guilt. They just need to accept it, which is often where a lot of the journey becomes a battleground. God does not see them as homosexuals, rather He sees them as His children, who were once lost but now found. This principle is one that is hard for the Church to embrace. Many who walk away from unwanted same-sex attractions are fearful that their past will constantly define their future. That is not the case – as Paul says, “In Christ we are a new creation,” and further he says, “That is what you used to be, but now you are washed, sanctified and justified in Christ through His Spirit.”
6. For those who want to change: You are embarking on a journey. This journey is going to be tough. Yes, God has freed them from a gay identity, but now the person must continue to walk in that freedom regardless if the road leads into valleys or mountaintops.
7. The overall result is not to be straight, but to become more like Christ. This is fundamental for all students, youth workers, parents, and mentors to fully understand. If the focus is on just becoming straight, “self” is the center of that focus. If the focus is on becoming like Christ, then “Christ” is the center.
The days of wondering if a gay teen might show up to your youth ministries are now over – gay teens are coming to youth ministries. Therefore, youth workers need to become aware of what to do and how to do it. I believe following these practical insights are a great start at building a safe and inviting atmosphere for gay teens – actually, all teens. Here are four great resources that every youth worker (and parent) should read and have on hand:
* 101 Frequently Asked Questions about Homosexuality – Mike Haley
* The Gay Gospel – Joe Dallas
* God’s Grace and the Homosexual Next Door – Alan Chambers
May the Spirit of our living God transform your heart, your ministries, and the hearts of those who minister to. May His identity be the wholeness you, and your students, long for above all else.
© 2009 Shawn Harrison, Director of six11 ministries
19 Responses to “Ministry to Gay Students”
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September 28th, 2009 at 11:23 pm
I think it’s funny how only Christians try to “change” gays. If
this were actually viable, there would be secular institutions like
Exodus. If you look, however, every change agency is always backed
by extremely conservative Christians. Furthermore, gays can’t
change. They can choose not to act on their desires, and control
them, but the desires are still there. That’s not really
“changing.” Not only is that misleading, but also it gives people
false hope. I believe in God, but when people exploit him to make
money, it does NOTHING. Things like these are wrong on so many
levels.
September 29th, 2009 at 9:42 am
Thanks for your comments. You’re right, Christians can’t change
anyone; but I know God is in the business of restoring people – all
people – back to His heart. That’s what this article is mostly
about, as well as the ministry I run. People can’t change people.
God changes us – if we allow Him to do so. I have seen too many
youth ministries disregard gay students because they don’t
understand what they (the students) are facing. Many churches are
still afraid to talk about “the gay issue”, let alone reach out in
love to the gay community. I am not advocating change so much here
as I am advocating the church – especially youth ministries – to
reach out, with the hand of Christ, to the gay community. Christ
has imparted His love into His church, so that we can spread the
message of God’s love out to those who seldom hear about it. By the
way, I’m not making any money off of what I do. I do it for God’s
Glory … that’s my reward.
September 29th, 2009 at 9:50 am
LOOKiNG4HELP411,
Not all organizations seeking to help people walk out of homosexuality are expressly Christian. There is a coalition of mental health professionals who also suscribe to the belief that homosexuality can be changed if it is the will of the client. The organization is called NARTH and though some members of the organization are Christian, their writings are based purely on science and research. Not all of their members are of the Christian faith or of any faith at all.
to say that only Christians are the ones trying to “change” gays is besides the point. The fact that its Christians, Jews or Muslims is irrelevant. It does nothing to address the relative truth of the notion of change. (That argument is actually called the AD HOC fallacy in which you attack the person rather than the argument being presented)
A very likely reason for this observation is that while secular society has no standard to which it holds, it is more flexible in what it deems normal or healthy. People of faith however typically have a faith tradition and a text which outlines certain behaviors such as sexuality. If you look at the past, when homosexuality was not accepted in society, it wasn’t just Christians but most therapists who believed homosexuality was changable. The science hasn’t changed but the standards have.
I heard it best from my Psychology of Sexual Behavior professor. (mind you I go to a very liberal public university.) He said “sure homosexuals can change, but why should they?” he compared it to being left handed. Left handed people can become right handed, but there is no need because there is no societal drive compelling them to do so. The same applies to homosexuality. Sure people can change, but if there is no drive to do so then it will not be acheived or even pursued to begin with. For people of faith however there is a drive.
You say that gays cannot change. Perhaps that is your experience? I do not know. However you are dismissing not only my own story but the stories of countless others who would disagree with you. Men and women who not only changed their behavior and identity, but who also found themselves being attracted to the opposite sex.
September 29th, 2009 at 9:54 am
Looking4help,
Exodus is not in the business of changing gays. A ministry does not have the power or means to do that. It is only by the Holy Spirit that change comes for anyone. I would encourage you to look at our doctrinal and mission statements. Our member ministries offer support to those who want to recover from homosexuality. We aren’t trying to change anyone, but merely providing support and encouragement to those who do want to walk away from homosexuality. Also, your notion that every change agency is backed by conservative Christians is false. The National Association for Reparative Therapy of Homosexuality (NARTH) is not connected to any religious affiliation. This organization comes from a strictly secular approach, and there are many Professional Psychologists connected with NARTH that are not Christian.
You’re statement that gays can’t change is also false. Speaking on behalf of hundreds of people, many I’ve met, and based on my own personal struggle with homosexuality, I can assure you that change has occurred in our lives. I’m not the same person I was at 18, identifying myself as gay. Pop culture always talks about this sexual fluidity notion, yet sexuality isn’t fluid enough for people to leave a homosexual orientation. Don’t discredit the lives of thousands who are walking a life free from homosexuality today. Now, what’s your definition of freedom? From a Biblical perspective, freedom is the ability to choose right from wrong and to have power over sin rather than it having power over you. Christ came to set us free from sin. Does that mean we will stop being tempted? No. I’m free today from homosexuality, not because I have no struggle with temptation or desire, but because homosexuality does not define me, nor does it control my actions or thoughts. I have experienced an orientation shift and have a strong desire to marry a woman some day. I’m not saying that this is the reward for walking away from homosexuality. I’m simply saying this is evidence of the change in my life that God has ushered in.
Another issue I should address is the whole exploiting God to make money thing. Most of our member agencies (except professional counselors for obvious reasons) offer people help based on how much they can give, whether it be a donation or flat fee. When I was a part of an Exodus affiliate ministry I was in college and couldn’t afford to pay. They didn’t turn me away. I went to the ministry for three years and never was asked to pay. I did give when I could, but I never felt pressured to do so. Many of our ministry leaders have a full time job and do this ministry on the side, because there is NOT much money in it. I want to make it clear that the motivation for this ministry is not to make money…anyone to think it is would be foolish. People work in this ministry because they have a desire to share with others the hope and freedom they’ve experienced through a transforming relationship with Jesus Christ. Money-making is not the objective.
September 30th, 2009 at 9:25 pm
Okay, so on one hand Shawn is saying that there are organizations
like NARTH [National Association of the Reparative Treatment of
Homosexuality] which are strictly scientific and secular (despite
the vast majority of their backers being Christian organizations),
and on the other hand you have Chris saying that change only comes
by the Holy Spirit? Hmm….That seems contradictory. It is not
“beside the point” because if the Holy Spirit is the only way for
change, then how are Muslims and Hindus who are entrapped in
homosexuality expected to experience change? They don’t know the
Holy Spirit…are they to be entangled with homosexuality for the
rest of their lives?? “You say that gays cannot change. Perhaps
that is your experience? I do not know. However you are dismissing
not only my own story but the stories of countless others who would
disagree with you. Men and women who not only changed their
behavior and identity, but who also found themselves being
attracted to the opposite sex.” Yes, it is my experience, and the
experience of many others that gays cannot change. Have you heard
of beyondexgay.com? It’s a website with many stories of how change
did not work for them. They’re not the only ones out there. If it
were possible for gays to change, why are so many embracing the
lifestyle after years of trying to change? It’s not just
society…if gays could change, the vast majority of gays would be
in line to change. We all know it’s not a desirable trait. Yet they
know they can’t change, so they accept it. Not because they want
to, but they have to. It’s not an on and off switch, and you all
should know that. Perhaps it is the way you all profess to use
change. By your definition, one can still be homosexual and have
“changed,” as you said (“freedom is the ability to choose right
from wrong and to have power over sin rather than it having power
over you”). Sure one can abstain from homosexual practices, but
they’re still a homosexual. The feelings are still there..I don’t
see how this is “freedom.” It’s more like “self-control.” I agree
with you that homosexuality doesn’t define you. It doesn’t control
your actions or thoughts either. But a homosexual, by definition,
is one that is attracted toward the same sex. It doesn’t matter if
you act on those desires or not…you are still a homosexual. If
you have feelings toward women as well, you are a bisexual. All I’m
saying is this organization is very misleading. Freedom in the
sense that most people want will probably never come.
October 1st, 2009 at 4:46 pm
Thanks for pointing out the contradiction. I need to clarify what I said in my comment to you. Exodus does not change gay-identified people. Exodus, being a Christian organization, believes that it is through the Holy Spirit that conviction and desire to change comes. Do people leave homosexuality without any religious involvement? Absolutely. Joseph Nicolosi has a book studying close to ten men who walked out of homosexuality in a secular, professional environment. Homosexuality is not simply a spiritual issue, but entails a lot of brokenness from one’s passed that can be worked through outside of a religious context.
Just because some people have not found freedom from homosexuality doesn’t mean it’s not possible. You mention beyondexgay.com. Do this website and these people’s stories automatically discredit my story, and the stories of thousands of people who have successfully left homosexuality? Did you ever think to question their motivation? We do not promote an on and off switch notion of leaving homosexuality. I’ll be honest with you, walking away from homosexuality is hard…very hard. Walking away from any sin or addiction is difficult. It’s not an easy journey, and Christ never promised an easy journey for us on this earth. I know many people who did walk away from homosexuality and are now back in it. The reason they went back was because they just gave up and weren’t seeing the results they thought they should be seeing. They were discouraged by temptations they still had, etc. Did that discourage me or question if I could really change? No, because I was seriously and desperately seeking after the Lord’s will in my life. I dropped my notion of change and dropped the timeline I had for being free of homosexual feelings. Because of that I have seen much fruit. I no longer have any desire to pursue homosexuality. Those feelings are no longer a centerpiece of my life. So change is possible.
October 1st, 2009 at 4:58 pm
… yeah what Chris said! Change happens not because of what we do,
but because of what God does. I, too, believe that you don’t have
to be a Christian in order to leave addictions and lifestyles you
don’t want to be apart of anymore. But I also believe that in
everyone’s efforts to leave – to seek healing and change – it is
God who brings them through the journey.
As for Muslims, God can even change their life – even if they
choose not to believe in Him (God). Jesus healed many people who
weren’t “saved” … God’s healing extends to everyone, just like
His salvation.
Shawn
PS – I think you got confused with what Chris said, and I didn’t
say. It’s cool.
October 12th, 2009 at 12:15 am
“The overall result is not to be straight, but to become more like
Christ.” Wait, you’re saying that I can be gay as long as I’m
focused on Christ, and not my homosexuality?
October 12th, 2009 at 1:02 pm
Not exactly. What I am saying is that we shouldn’t be focused on
becoming straight … that’s not where our identity really is held.
Instead, we should be focusing on becoming more like Christ …
taking on God’s Identity for us – that’s where true freedom lies.
I’m not saying that we shouldn’t pursue a life that God desires (we
should be), but we should be focused more on who God has called us
to be rather than what we think we need to be. Make sense?
October 15th, 2009 at 11:16 pm
Yeah. Straight or gay isn’t who I am. What I am is a child of
Christ. Thanks Shawn.
October 19th, 2009 at 10:13 pm
I believe that the carnal man may want to change different areas of
his life and may well be able to.He may search for peace,hope,
eternal happiness. He will for a time be happy. But without the
saving grace of our Lord and Savior there will never be “the peace
that passes all understanding.” As hard as one might try. “For
grace are ye saved through faith, that not of yourselves, it is a
gift from God.” So yes with God you can heal and be healed for a
lifetime, by confessing your sin to Christ, asking him to forgive
you and ask him to come into your life, Yes you may carry the scars
of your sin,but you can know that God sees them no more. The Holy
Spirit will show you Gods’ will and those scars will fade as they
are replaced with the things God has called us to do. Christians
are healed when we focus on becoming more like our creator,Yes we
will take our eyes off Him and stumble. God is right there to help
us up and forgive us,when we ask and continue on our focus and walk
with Him. The temptation to sin, any kind of sin is there 24/7 for
every Christian. We are not “cured” from ANY sin,be it cursing,
stealing, murdering, or lying. They weigh the same in the sight of
God. We can become healed. All I know is that the closer I walk
with God and focus on the things of God, the Holy Spirit helps me
resist temptations and shows me where to go for strength. I am not
a Bible Scholar or a Sunday school teacher. I’m someone who love
the Lord, has times of weakness and doubt. One thing I know is that
” I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me”. I have
no arguments with you, only the prayer that through this forum you
will trust Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior if you have never
done so. With love through Christ.
November 28th, 2009 at 8:53 pm
Regarding the “debate” about whether homosexuality is “changeable”
or if “freedom is possible”, I think we all need to have a wider
perspective when it comes to sin and temptation itself. I believe
those who argue that homosexuality is not changeable have not fully
realized the implications of that lifestyle. It leads to death. For
me, I learned early on, that it literally was so empty and
unfulfilling as a life pursuit that I wanted to kill myself. I did
not kill myself, instead I sought the Lord’s will for my life and
have experienced a NEW kind of joy, peace, and love that I could
never have found in any sexual encounter or relationship with
someone of the same sex. The temptations, or SSA you feel, are real
feelings but they are distortions of what will truly fill you up.
They are based on lies. The temptation to sin is the enemy
attempting to lure you to live independently of God. When we depend
on God, we depend on His word, and His word is clear about
sexuality. When we don’t depend on God, and instead depend on our
physical feelings/temptations/surges, we are denying the truth that
can set us free, and instead settling for the temporary
relief that comes with following the flesh. The desires of the
flesh will never be fully satisfied. Look at gluttony for
example. No matter how much you eat, wait a couple hours and you’ll
be hungry again. You can have the best cake in the world, pudding,
ice cream, etc. and feel great for a while, but you are still left
empty in the long run. The same is with sex. The more you engage in
unhealthy thoughts/fantasies and act on them, the more your
appetite will grow for those sexual experiences. Same sex
attractions are temptations to live independently of God, just like
temptations to use drugs and temptations to lie, cheat, steal, etc.
Someone who struggles with drugs is chasing the temporary high. But
they can become sober and experience a relationship with God that
provides a high that drugs could only attempt to emulate. The same
is with those who struggle with same sex attractions. Homosexuality
is not an isolated issue…. We also have to remember that we were
all born into a fallen world and that “Satan has deceived the whole
world.” Revelation 12:9 We are all called to bring our struggles,
our flesh, and our temptation to the cross and follow Jesus. We are
in a spiritual war. God does not make your life easier, or the
world better. He makes you stronger.
December 28th, 2009 at 11:49 pm
I fully believe God can change anyone and deliever us from anything
in our lives. SSA is extremely difficult to deal with, but for some
reason we tend to think its harder for God to change us than to
say, change an alcoholic, murderer, or drug addict. I also believe
homosexuality isnt something that we are, but rather something we
do. Homosexuality is simply a symptom of what we TRULY are, and
that is a sinner. Our identity before we know Chirst is simply
“sinner” not alcoholic, not gay, not liar, etc. We are set apart
from God, not because of these “sins” but because of “SIN” I’ll try
to clarify the difference. Christ died to take away our “sin
nature” and as that nature is destroyed we are made new creatures
in Christ through His blood shed at the cross. So my identity is no
longer a “Sinner” But rather a “Son of God, who sometimes sins”
Even if I walk into temptation and sin with my SSA feelings, that
does not define me as gay, it defines me as a sinner saved by grace
when I walk in repentance. Paul said neither adulterers,
homosexuals, liars, idolaters, etc, will inherit the kingdom of
God. Paul is not talking about people who make mistakes, but people
who have not had their “sin nature” washed away by the blood of
Jesus.” He even makes that point clear by contininuing on to say,
“That such were some of you, but you were cleansed by the blood of
Jesus.” The people Paul was talking to had come out of those sins,
but I gurantee you that doesnt mean, none of those people ever
commited those sins again. Im sure that they did. But they
repented, turned back to Christ and received the grace that is
fully avalible to all who believe.
February 22nd, 2010 at 3:50 pm
God can change anyone even if they do not want to. He can make us
all worship and believe in Him is he wanted to. The point is that
God gave us all “free will”. We can change or believe in Him is we
choose to. He desires us to seek him, believe in him, worship Him
and follow his ways. A person can change if they desire it, no
matter what they need to change. It may not be easy but why should
it? He made us so that we can depend on Him. He wants us to reach
out to him daily in any struggle we may have. He loves us with an
ever lasting love. His mercy and grace abounds much. Give him a
try, he’ll knock your socks off and you will desire to live with
Him!
March 10th, 2010 at 4:19 pm
[...] This article will look at how youth workers can, and must,
help students who are facing such bullying in school – knowing that
these same things could be happening within local youth ministries
as well. This article is not calling to accept behavior that
clashes with Biblical beliefs, rather it’s calling for Christians
(especially those who are youth workers) to take a stand against
bullying, and start teaching the truth about sharing God’s
unconditional love with those who think they are undeserving of
such love. Read more [...]
May 5th, 2010 at 2:09 pm
It seems to me that almost all of the articles above address how
Christ “free’s” you from the sin. When in all reality he free’s
your from the condemnation of the sin, as long as you repent but,
where as most non-homosexual christians people do not know; It is
an inward feeling, want, desire and for most a need. Most gays feel
as if they cant stop thinking about the same sex and even have a
longing to be with the same sex. This feeling is closely related
and be discribed as the following: 1. If I give you the thing you
want the most, you will be… 2. If I hit you or call you a name
you will be… 3. If I break your favorite object you will be… 4.
If I do something nice for you you will be… Now before I anwser
those questons just remember what all these anwsers have in common!
1. Excited 2. Mad 3. Sad 4. Grateful If you cant tell, these are
all feelings, you can Not help but feel this way, (but you can have
self-control) Just like with SSA you feel it but cant control that.
What you can control is acting on it! Now my question is IS THERE
GOING TO BE A TIME WHEN I WONT FEEL THESE FEELINGS? Keep in
mind…I faithfully followed christ for several years but now I am
loosing my grip!
May 7th, 2010 at 9:25 am
Manofgod, Christ does free us from the bondage of sin. We are no longer subject to it, because He has given us the Holy Spirit and power to resist sin. Does that mean we will never sin again? No, but Christ gives us the power to resist sin. When we turn our thoughts and desires on Christ, He ultimately changes our inward feelings, wants, and desires to align with His. I can tell you that in my 7 years of walking away from homosexuality Christ certainly has freed me from sin and has changed my feelings and desires. For several years in the beginning it was a constant battle with my flesh. I wanted to give in so badly, and often did with pornography. But as I have matured in the Lord it no longer is a constant battle with my flesh. I still have temptation, but my desires and feelings have shifted. I no longer want these feelings to have control or occupy my mind endlessly. My same-sex attractions no longer have control over my thoughts, feelings, or desires. Christ has control over all these things. I can’t tell you if there will be a time you don’t feel these feelings, but I know for me, these feelings no longer preoccupy my mind. They come up every now and then, but they don’t affect me like they once did. Because I see them for what they really are, temptation. It’s just temptation that can be resisted. Things may seem bleak right now, but keep pushing forward. Pursue Christ with all your heart, get into a great community of believers that you can be real with and who can pour into you. I can’t promise these feelings will go away, but I can promise you that God is a big God and can handle these attractions.
September 1st, 2010 at 2:55 am
L0OKiNG4HELP411 Bravo! Thank you for being a voice of wisdom and
reason in an age full of hate, and violence. Being who you are is
exactly how is sounds, you’re not controlled or hated by a bearded
man in the sky, you’re loved by people who truly understand the
meaning of life or those who know that they never can understand
it. You’re loved by people everywhere even though it may not seem
like it. Gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and transgenders, are loved and
appreciated for what they bring to the wonderful place that is the
21st century. Some may be to blind to see that we are all humans
loved by our gods (if you believe in them) but more importantly
loved by others of our own race, a love you can feel physically and
emotionally not just spiritually. Thank god, or science or love,
whom ever for this kind of connection. I hope that you can keep
expressing yourself even though people will hate you for it. Just
know that for every person who is rude, hurtful and violent, there
are 100 others who stand with and love you. Thank you again.
September 14th, 2010 at 9:34 am
Thank you for your comments Yelloms1. God does not control his creation or hate it. But he has a purpose for his creation. I hope you don’t mean to imply that we are here hating people who are gay-identified. That isn’t the case at all. As Christians we are called to love God AND people. We absolutely get it wrong sometimes, but disagreeing with born gay ideology and believing that homosexuality is not God’s best or created intent does not equal hatred. As a member of thousands who have found freedom from a gay identity, we desire to share the message of hope to those who ARE seeking help and a different life. We are all humans who are deeply loved by a Creator who cares about what we do with our lives and how we live them out for Him.