I Like “I Kissed a Girl,” So What?
Written by: Yvette Schneider | September 26th, 2008I heard Katy Perry’s song “I Kissed a Girl (And I Liked It)”. I love upbeat, care-free songs with catchy tunes. It reminds me of high-school summers, hanging out with friends and riding the bus to the beach. Like most people, I listen to music for the music. When I was a teenager, I didn’t know the words to half the songs I heard. The other half, I sang along with when they played on the radio, because it was fun and I liked the sound. So what is the big deal if Katy sings that she kissed a girl? I don’t listen for the lyrics, I listen for the music. That’s why they call it music.
It makes sense that music is about harmonies and rhythms. That is what makes music different from poems and novels. But that is not all music is about. I remember loving a song about suicide. It was not a gloomy song. It had a gentle, ironically chipper melody. In the weeks leading up to my Christian conversion, I listened to that song every day. I was not suicidal. I did not hate my life. I liked the sound of the song. But listening to it made me think about what circumstances would lead someone to take his own life. I wondered what circumstances would lead me to consider taking my own life. I did not consider actually killing myself, but I thought of how I would commit such an act if I ever decided upon that course of action. I had a lot of thoughts about suicide. When I became a Christian, that song went in the trash. There was no good reason for me to continue listening to a song that made me think of useless, violent acts against myself.
But back to Katy Perry and her song about lesbian kisses. According to the lyrics, she lost her discretion with a drink in her hand. Her drink made her brave. She saw a girl that made her curious about what it would be like to kiss a girl, and she decided to find out. Apparently, she liked it.
It is perplexing to me that she spends the entire song defending her actions with lines like, “Don’t mean I’m in love tonight,” “I kissed a girl just to try it,” “Ain’t no big deal, it’s innocent.” If it is no big deal, why worry about it? But worry is what Katy does. She tells everyone who will listen that it does not mean anything that she liked kissing a girl. It sounds as if she is trying to convince herself that it is “no big deal.” That is what happens when you do something you know you shouldn’t do. You try to fight off the guilt by making excuses for yourself. The guilt, however, does not go away, “It’s not what / Good girls do / Not how they should behave / My head gets so confused / Hard to obey.”
What she does not worry about, as she bemoans her confusion, is what the other girl thought of being kissed by a stranger. Katy sings, “Just wanna try you on / I’m curious for you / Caught my attention.” Imagine you are the object of Katy’s curiosity. Suddenly, an unknown girl approaches from across the room and kisses you. She then continues her song, “No, I don’t even know your name / it doesn’t matter / You’re my experimental game.” Katy is worried about herself, but she sure isn’t worried about you. You are just the pawn in her game. That sums up the narcissistic, self-centeredness that typifies sexual experimentation. It’s all about me. The other person is just an object I am using to satisfy my own curiosity.
The purpose of physical intimacy is not to figure out what feels wrong and right, as Katy seems to think. It’s not about discovering what works for you. The purpose of physical intimacy is to bond husband and wife together in a life-long union that will strengthen their marriage and create a stable home-life for the children they may have. When you use physical intimacy for any purpose other than that, it is bound to lead to undesired effects, such as confusion in your sexuality and emotional turmoil.
Am I saying that kissing a girl made Katy Perry a lesbian or bisexual? Not necessarily. The lyrics don’t elaborate on what happened after the drink-induced kiss. Listening to “I Kissed a Girl” probably will not make you a lesbian or bisexual, either. It could, however, fuel a sexual identity struggle that may or may not already exist. It could make you curious about kissing a girl, and bring you face-to-face with a temptation you wouldn’t have dealt with otherwise.
Our combined experiences and the cultural influence we receive through music, television and movies all can have a collective influence on the direction our lives end up taking. To think that the music we listen to will not affect us is to discount the power that art has to stimulate our emotions and our minds. That is what artists strive to accomplish every time they produce a piece of art.
Rather than entertain thoughts about sexual experimentation and planting kisses on unsuspecting strangers, it would serve you better to spend your care-free years hanging out with your friends and just being young. That way, you won’t have to explain to your fiancé about the years you spent kissing girls and experimenting with your sexuality.
Men, just like women, want to feel special on their wedding night. They do not want you to give them what lots of other people already have, but what has been reserved especially for them. Then when you’re an adult, you won’t hear songs from your younger years that remind you of the poor decisions you made. Instead, you will hear familiar songs that remind you of your old friends and how much fun you had together.
7 Responses to “I Like “I Kissed a Girl,” So What?”
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December 14th, 2008 at 5:15 pm
Wow. Very well said.
April 25th, 2009 at 10:29 am
Yvette,
You do state your analysis well especially recognizing the victim of the singers experiment.
Recently my daughter informed me she is "dating women" (her words).
Our conversation that day ended with her acknowledging there was nothing she could ever do that would cause me not to love her.
Shortly after her declaration about dating women we took a trip together in her vehicle and "I kissed a girl and I liked it" was one of the songs she played on her CD player.
It is hard to express to you the pain I feel hearing that song.
For me this not only reminds me of the sexual identity issues she is dealing with, it stands as a reminder of the time in her life when she was the victim of someone else’s experiment. The actions of an adult who molested her regularly for several years.
You say that you listen to music for melody and that the poetry involved is secondary in importance.. In my youth I too used that argument to justify the songs I listened to extolling the lifestyle of "drugs, sex and rock-n-roll" that I involved myself in.
To be truthful these songs were a reflection of the struggles inside me as well as permission to identify and be involved with others in the same lifestyle.
The lifestyle of "drugs, sex and rock-n-roll" that I lived killed me inside as I lived in a world of people who said they loved each other but actually lived as you stated in "narcissistic, self-centeredness". I too was guilty of this narcissistic self-centered behavior.
If lyrics are not important then why listen to anything other than instrumental music?
The truth is that lyrics/poetry set to music is a powerful way to teach and for people to memorize.
When you say the alphabet do you still sing the "alphabet song" in your head?
Human brains are wired to learn this way.
Music and poetry are powerful.
(side note” this is one of the reasons scriptural & spiritual truth is taught in hymns)..
Yvette, you sound to be an intelligent person, don’t kid yourself saying that the message in the lyrics is not important.
If lyrics weren’t important then no one would bother to write them.
May 17th, 2009 at 10:21 pm
Listening to a song does not facilitate an action. Lyrics are powerful because they provoke thought, but they do not lead to implementation. I know, I work in this field. In the same way that Samaritans have to ask every caller if they are suicidal or not, it does not mean that they are implanting the idea into their head which will lead them to act on it.
I cannot knock down some of the other articles on this website, even though I wholeheartedly disagree with them, because many are a matter of faith or opinion. However I am respectfully saying that this particular one is inaccurate.
May 13th, 2010 at 7:49 pm
Alright, to Father Paul. You’re daughter is her own woman and its
her life. Being disappointed is natural, but to look at every
homosexual encounter as “victims of molestation,” is completely
ridiculous. Also, God doesn’t make mistakes. Homosexuality isn’t
learned. People are either gay or they arent. And those that are,
happen to only be that way because that’s how God created them. I’m
sure he doesn’t appreciate others trying to belittle his handywork.
Kat Perry, is a drunk little girl that doesn’t know how to control
herself. That’s all the song says. I also happen to like it. I also
consider myself a christian and a lesbian. The song is not a
testament or an anthem for real homosexual women who struggle to
keep and maintain healthy relationships.
June 1st, 2010 at 9:53 am
i just have one question. what is wrong with you? you over analyzed
websites like these
that song WAY to much. shes trying to tell people like to ITS NOT A
BIG DEAL, but you’re to smart to get that
need to be shut down, why do you care so much??????? why do you
care who everyone else is having sex with???? its not you, so my
your business. you dont see me trying to make you have sex with the
same sex just bacause i do. and LOVE IS SPELLED WITH THE SAME FOUR
LETTERS NO MATTER WHO YOU LOVE. and how could you say all that
about marrige? just because theyre the same sex doesnt mean they
cant give each other something theyve been waiting for.
July 25th, 2010 at 1:20 pm
Katy Perry’s biography is very ineresting. becuz her parents r
ministers she released a gospel album when she was 14 and she
stopped loving God and started to love fame and the world its true
i saw it in this interview.
September 11th, 2010 at 11:23 pm
I got saved 2 years after I came out (thank Jesus), but every time
I hear this song it takes me right back there. The first time I
heard this song I was at a high school football came, and my two
lesbian friends showed it to me on their iPod. Of course I fell in
love with it. But aside from that, I think the reason its so hard
to listen to a song like that is the message. I never picked up on
the selfishness until this article I guess. But when I hear it I am
immediately attacked with wanting to rationalize the lifestyle.
Your completely right: we have to watch what we put in our selves.
How can see God live in the praises of His people, and be shocked
that evil spirits can get into the praises of sin?