exodus youth

I had a friend in high-school who was my first best-friend.  We spent all of our free time together.  For the first time in my life, I felt loved and accepted for who I was. This was an exciting time for me.  I grew close to this friend and to her family.  There were times soon after my parents’ divorce that I didn’t go home for days, spending more and more time at my friend’s house.  We were not in a lesbian relationship, but when my mom asked me if my friend and I were homosexually involved, I had to admit to myself that I wished we were.  If we were a “couple,” then she would never leave me and I would always feel the thrill of having someone truly care about me and value me as a person.

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If I had a dime for every time a young woman questions her sexuality, I could easily pay for my children’s future college tuition.  And that would be sending them to a private school, not a community college.  You may wonder what is causing this unhealthy trend among teens and young women.  When you live in a sex-saturated culture like we do, with sexual images inundating us on TV, in movies and magazines, it is no wonder that sex becomes a constant theme to analyze, ponder and generally obsess over.

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Are you struggling with pornography? Is this something you wish wasn’t in your life but you just can’t seem to conquer it? Well, you’re not alone.

Personally, I can relate with that feeling of being trapped. I’ve been there and I’ve found ways to get beyond that place of being trapped. With God’s help, there is hope for you, like there was hope for me.

There are a few key things to realize and steps to take…allow me share a few of these things that helped me and countless others. (keep reading…)

LiLo and her friend Samantha

What happened to the cute freckle-faced girl from The Parent Trap?  I don’t know Lindsay Lohan or any of the interpersonal dynamics that shaped her life.  My knowledge of Lindsay is limited to what I’ve learned through the media.  From that perspective, I will offer my point-of-view on LiLo’s chaotic life leading up to her relationship with Samantha Ronson.

Lindsay’s father was in jail for a significant portion of her childhood.  She’s now seeking a protective order against him.  It’s clear that LiLo doesn’t like MiLo.  And, although Michael Lohan now professes faith in Jesus and works with Teen Challenge, being a convicted felon didn’t make him much of a role model, at least not from Lindsay’s viewpoint. Parental role models are crucial in helping us develop into secure adults.  They provide boundaries for us and teach us how to relate to the outside world.  When those role models are insecure with themselves (or absent altogether), it is difficult for them to provide us with the direction we need.  (keep reading…)

One of life’s greatest challenges for me has been to be comfortable in my own feminine skin. I am finding that many women, whether they have struggled with same-sex attraction or not, have been frustrated with and had serious questions regarding what being a “Woman” means. If you happen to struggle with lesbianism, please know that you are not alone in dealing with the awkward, difficult, and often distressing realities of being female…feminine.

Throughout childhood and adolescence I steered clear of everything “girly.” No dolls or dresses for me. Instead of sweet nicknames like “Princess” I was the Great Green Frog, Sausage Legs, Lester, Pack Mule, and best of all Lumpy when I was going thru that awkward stage of early adolescence. The last time I was mistaken for my mother’s son was when I was a sophomore in college.

I think part of my problem has been that I am competitive by nature. If I didn’t have a shot at being the best, why play. As for beauty, brains and brawn: I did well in school. I was strong as an ox, some said, and did well in competitive swimming. Yet, I knew I was never going to be pretty so why even try. In fact it made me feel better to degrade anything feminine. I was strong and confident on the inside and it did not matter what I looked like on the outside. I was not going to make a big fuss just to please others who might be looking at me. (keep reading…)

I heard Katy Perry’s song “I Kissed a Girl (And I Liked It)”.  I love upbeat, care-free songs with catchy tunes.  It reminds me of high-school summers, hanging out with friends and riding the bus to the beach.  Like most people, I listen to music for the music.    When I was a teenager, I didn’t know the words to half the songs I heard.  The other half, I sang along with when they played on the radio, because it was fun and I liked the sound.  So what is the big deal if Katy sings that she kissed a girl?  I don’t listen for the lyrics, I listen for the music.  That’s why they call it music.

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Does the Bible really say that homosexuality is a sin? Or does it, as some people say, actually condone and celebrate homosexual relationships? As Christians, we need to know what the Bible tells us about sexuality and gender. Here’s a quick overview of what Scripture really says, as well as responses to some of the most common challenges made to our understanding of the Bible. (keep reading…)

I know what an important question this is to you; it’s a question I’ve asked many times. In the middle of an internal conflict between powerful desires for the same sex and the deep conviction that what the Bible says is true, something’s got to give. What will it be?

For those who are just starting to look at a journey out of homosexuality, we are often thinking in terms of attraction when we ask about change. Will we always feel our same-sex attractions (SSA) so strongly? Will we ever have opposite-sex attractions (OSA) to a satisfying degree?

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Many Christians are intimidated by the issue of homosexuality because it seems so hard to understand. Some decide they can’t minister to a person struggling with it because they just don’t know enough. After all, how can you minister relationally to someone going through something that feels totally alien to you?

The answer is, you can probably relate to those who struggle with SSA a lot more than you think!

If you look at homosexuality on a surface level–simply as sexual and/or romantic desires for the same sex–it’s probably not something you can relate to at all. It’s important to realize, though, that the attractions are not what this struggle is all about. In truth, the underlying issues that someone with SSA needs to deal with are a lot more universal than even they realize. (keep reading…)

Everybody’s story is a little bit different. Maybe you’re struggling with same-sex attraction or you know somebody who is. The good news: you’re not alone! Or maybe you heard about Exodus somewhere and just couldn’t believe something like this really existed. In any case, we’re glad you’re here to find answers for yourself. Let’s talk about it:

• What are you guys all about?
• Is God mad at me?
• What does “freedom from homosexuality” really mean?
• So what now?

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The answer that immediately comes to mind is, “Well, yeah!” We know God loves everybody, but then we’re confused when we see Bible verses that say homosexuality is a sin. What does that mean for gays?

Let’s ask ourselves: does God think the way we do? Not quite (Isaiah 55:9). So I wonder if God would even think of people as “gay” or “straight” in the first place? (keep reading…)

Mike Ensley was featured in the webzine Boundless:

Touch the Sexual Sinner
by Mike Ensley

Nobody needs to be told about the startling statistics regarding youth and sexuality. A rant about how the media and entertainment industry push the envelope would just be stating the obvious to anyone with ears to listen.

What gets me ranting is the Church’s response; all too often living in the definition of insanity in regards to responding to the crisis of our culture. Despite its monumental failure to accomplish anything in the way of personal transformation, too many Christians – worse, those in ministry – seem bent on responding with our most ineffective asset: religion.

Read the entire article >>

Lynn Vincent of WORLD Magazine writes about Exodus:

A couple of days ago, Tony Woodlief’s WoW post, “Anti-homosexual Christianity,” stirred quite a conversation. Tony looked at a piece of the book UnChristian, whose authors observe of the church that “outsiders say our hostility toward gays – not just opposition to homosexual politics and behaviors but disdain for gay individuals – has become virtually synonymous with the Christian faith.”

The post interested me greatly because I spent quite a bit of time this week talking with former homosexuals, and with Catholic, Jewish, evangelical, and secular counselors and psychologists who help people walk away from unwanted same-sex attraction. Two trends emerged:

First, it appears that the cultural liberation of homosexuality is also liberating those seeking to escape it.

Second, the cultural mainstreaming of homosexuality is awakening some churches to more compassionate ways of dealing with homosexuality – without endorsing the behavior.

Read the whole article >>

This story was written in 2002 and originally printed in the Exodus Impact newsletter.

Four years ago a close friend from my campus church told me that he had same-sex attractions. This was a first for me. I was shocked, confused, and completely unsure of how to relate to him. My questions ran the spectrum from intensely theological – what does this tell me, if anything, about his faith? – to the intensely practical – is it still ok for me to give him hugs? His questions ran much deeper. “Why me? Who am I anyway? Does God really love me? What now?” (keep reading…)

Homosexuality is one of those issues where I feel like my personal views as an apprentice of Jesus Christ are often misquoted. People like me don’t tend to take out letters in the paper or hold sandwich signs during gay Rights Day. I stand back and watch as the louder voices on each side of the issue get the press coverage. It seems like all that I get is misunderstood, mischaracterized, and maligned. And there is a growing group of people like me. (keep reading…)

A poll of over 2,000 youth at the National LCMS Gathering in Orlando in 2007 gave some insight into youth’s perspectives on today’s issues. Among prioritizing their life concerns–personal faith being at the top–the youth gave their opinions on controversial subjects, including homosexuality and same-sex marriage.

About two-thirds of participants (66%) said that homosexuality is always wrong, down from 70% in 2004. Only about 14% of youth said they would allow same-sex marriage.

“Youth appear to be trending with society and culture in general” on this matter, [said Dr. Terry Dittmer, director of LCMS Youth Ministry].

For more statistics on other subjects, read the whole article >>

When you think of the issues that are most urgent or dangerous in the world today, homosexuality probably isn’t at the very top. War, poverty, disease, sexual slavery; these are certainly more pressing and require a lot of attention.

But the existence of more important or urgent issues doesn’t make homosexuality a non-issue. The way we live out our gender and conduct ourselves sexually matters a whole lot to God. In the Bible, you’ll find strongly-worded writings not only about the negative consequences of deviating from God’s plan for sexuality, but more importantly, you’ll discover the beautiful creation He had in mind when He made man and woman for each other.
The fact that God made us male and female is a big deal. In fact, it’s the second thing the Bible says about humanity, right after the fact that we’re made in God’s image (Genesis 1:27). (keep reading…)

People only change when they decide to for themselves; you cannot force anyone to make a change they don’t want to. Still, you can definitely be a support to Christians seeking a way out of homosexuality or lesbianism.

First, you can pray for an unsaved homosexual person and share the gospel with them. If you are relating with a Christian struggling with this issue, you can pray for them, too. Pray God will give them the courage and perseverance to achieve sexual abstinence. Sexual activity usually covers deep wounds. Once activity stops, the “pain-killer” of sex wears off and underlying emotional pain can surface. Be there to listen and support them in this process. (keep reading…)

Jesus modeled for us the balance of showing both truth and grace as we relate to others. Jesus confronted a lot of people in sinful lifestyles, but always treated them with love.

God hates all sin equally, and perhaps, with regard to loving the homosexual, the first step is simply to acknowledge that homosexual behavior is a sin like any other – including heterosexual sin, lust, envy, covetousness, gossip, etc. People living a homosexual lifestyle are sinners like the rest of us and, like the rest of us, they are people created by God and loved by God. As such, we are called to love in whatever sinful state we happen to find them. (keep reading…)

Human sexuality is a wonderful work of art designed by God. It has emotional, spiritual and physical aspects that all work together in a beautiful and mysterious way. Unfortunately, in a fallen world this delicate design is often misunderstood by us and sometimes abused by others.

Everyone’s body is sexual. Once puberty hits, there are parts of the human body designed to react to stimulation by experiencing pleasure. These body parts–called “erogenous zones”–don’t have a mind of their own. They don’t know who or what is touching them, whether it’s a male or female, or if the situation is right or wrong; they just respond to physical touch the way they are designed to, regardless of circumstance. (keep reading…)