Masturbation: Is it sin?
Written by: Chris Stump | July 27th, 2010
About seven years ago I attended my first Exodus conference. As I was looking at the multitude of workshops offered during the week I came across one entitled “Something, something…MASTURBATION”. I can’t remember the whole title, because I just saw that “m” word. I knew I had to go to that one. But of course when the time came to go I was filled with so much trepidation and shame. Would I be the only one in the workshop? I got up enough courage to go, and to my amazement, the room was so full, there was barely any standing room. It was such a relief to know that I was no longer the only person, or one of the select few, who dealt with this issue.
Something that is so common, a problem for so many Christians, is one of the few things ever discussed in church. So what is the answer to the question, ‘Is masturbation a sin?’ Is there really anything wrong with it? I mean, what’s the harm? What does the Bible say?
The Bible doesn’t specifically address the issue of masturbation. Out of the entire scriptures, not one verse mentions masturbation. The closest one that is used most often in relation to masturbation is Genesis 38:9 -
But Onan knew that the offspring would not be his; so whenever he lay with his brother’s wife, he spilled his semen on the ground to keep from producing offspring for his brother.
Tamar was Onan’s sister-in-law. Her husband, Er, was wicked and recently died. So Judah, Onan’s father told him to lie with Tamar to produce children that Er couldn’t do. But Onan, spills his seed to prevent himself from impregnating Tamar. The Lord is angry and ultimately kills him. So, because he spills his seed, many equate that with masturbation. But, if you look at the context, it isn’t masturbation the Lord is displeased with, it is the fact that Onan deliberately prevents himself from passing his seed on to Tamar. He disrespects God’s perfect design by wasting his seed. The purpose he was to fulfill was thwarted by his own selfish desires. So this verse we can’t use to defend or condemn masturbation.
But I believe the issue of lust is important to discuss in relation to masturbation. In my many years of battling with this issue, I’ve heard the arguments that masturbation is alright as long as it doesn’t become an addictive behavior and it’s used as a tool for relaxation and not lust. But I have not found one time when lust could be suppressed from the act of masturbation. The two are closely associated. Masturbation is an artificial expression of sex, and in God’s perfect design, sex is to be a relational, deeply intimate expression between one man and one woman of their sacrificial love for one another. So how could one be able to masturbate without bringing a relational dynamic into it – most often in the form of fantasy or pornography?
Christopher West, in Theology of the Body for Beginners, shares insights from Pope John Paul II. He discusses an interesting perspective on lust. Pope John Paul’s belief is that love and sex ultimately is self-donation. It is the body’s capacity of expressing love. A man’s body doesn’t make sense by itself and a woman’s body doesn’t make sense by itself. Sexual difference reveals the unmistakable plan of God that man and woman are meant to be a “gift” to one another. This is a whole other subject for a different post. But this sets the backdrop for what he later brings up about lust:
Lust “passes on the ruins” of the nuptial (marital) meaning of the body and aims directly to satisfy only the “sexual need” of the body. It seeks “the sensation of sexuality” apart from a true gift of self and a true communion of persons … In reality, lust is a reduction of the original fullness God intended for sexual desire.
Lust is the difference between self-gratification and self-donation, taking versus giving. You see, sex is a very relational thing. It was never intended to be enjoyed by oneself. Regardless of whether you claim you can masturbate without fantasizing or not, it doesn’t matter. Sex and orgasms were meant for the marriage bed, to unite two individuals in self-giving.
An orgasm was not originally designed for relaxation or for self-indulgence. I remember hearing a talk one time by Sy Rogers. I’m paraphrasing and perhaps even restructuring his thought here, but this is the gist of it. An orgasm, originally, serves as a seal between two individuals. In a world without pornography and void of masturbation, a man is to meet a woman, fall in love, marry, and unite in the joyous act of sexual intercourse. When both partners experience orgasm, their other partner is imprinted in their minds, stamped, sealed, and delivered to their brain as the person of their dreams…in essence. Of course I’m merely paraphrasing.
The dangers of masturbating is imprinting your mind with many different people that were never supposed to be linked to this most intimate act. A rewiring in your brain happens. That’s why, at least for me, when I began indulging in pornography I could never masturbate without the fantasy. Because that was imprinted in my mind.
Can you imagine what it would be like, men, to never have masturbated, never looked at pornography, resisted the temptation to lust, and once you marry and enter the marriage bed for the first time, your wife is the only one imprinted on your mind in the most intimate moment? That was God’s original intent.
So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. Galatians 5:16-17
So, if you are still battling with this whole notion of whether it is sin or not start asking yourself these questions, “Do you feel guilty after you do it?” If the answer is yes, then most likely you are feeling conviction, which means it is sin. Is this something habitual for you? Has it become an idol? Then masturbation is not a good or beneficial thing. Do you use it as a form of medication? Then masturbation is a substitution for God, and therefore sin.
For those who do truly believe masturbation is possible without lust, then I should ask, what’s the benefit? Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 10:23 that, “everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial.” So, if you believe masturbation is permissible, what’s the benefit that it brings other than self-gratification and pleasure? We are called to be living sacrifices, not living self-indulgers.
Ultimately masturbation is a counterfeit form of intimacy and leads to self-focused gratification. Therefore, how do we deal with it?
First, acknowledge God’s grace and love for you. If you are trapped in a repetitive, addictive, unbreakable cycle of masturbating, you probably feel a lot of shame and guilt. If so, embrace God’s love, and rest in His grace for you. He sees you, not your sin. Begin to dive deeper into relationship with Him. Once He supplies your relational needs, then the counterfeit of masturbation loses it’s appeal. If you are fulfilled in His love, you no longer need the self-gratification or indulgence of pornography or masturbation.
We also must daily deny ourselves, our fleshly desires, and self-focused motivations to Christ. The longer we starve an addiction, the easier it becomes to resist. Our bodies are not our own. “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own” 1 Corinthians 6:19. As a temple of the Holy Spirit, we should not defile our bodies in acts of self-gratification of any kind.
We must submit our sexuality, sexual appetites, and impulses to God. He, by His Holy Spirit, will give us the grace and power to resist and fight the temptation to masturbate. This is something that can be extremely hard to break. So walk under the grace of our Lord, and not under condemnation. The more you feel accused, the easier it is to stay stuck in this sin. God neither accuses or condemns you, because Christ took on all of that for us. If you are stuck in the repetitive cycle of sin, then I encourage you to truly embrace who you are in Christ. You are beloved, a dearly loved child of the King. To learn more about helpful tools and ways to handle temptation read Hope for Resisting Temptation.
If you are using masturbation to medicate pain, loneliness, or brokenness, then acknowledge it and begin to understand what triggers you and how you handle certain issues. Your brain has been conditioned to respond to hard life situations through masturbation. It will take some time to retrain your brain and respond to these same situations by turning to Christ who is THE absolute medicator and healer. Masturbation only medicates for a few minutes. Christ heals for a lifetime.
This is indeed a reality that so many men struggle with. It is now becoming a prevalent struggle for women as well. Don’t keep this in the dark. Gather around your brothers, men or sisters, women and begin to fight this struggle together. It is when we bring our dark secrets into the light that freedom comes. Darkness only perpetuates more bondage. The more we talk about this in a real, honest, and humble way, the more shame and guilt will relinquish its power to the healing of the community of faith and Christ Himself.
12 Responses to “Masturbation: Is it sin?”
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August 9th, 2010 at 10:34 am
Masturbation is not a form of self-medication, but rather a nearly
universal, natural human function. Evolutionary theory states that
masturbation in males keeps the sperm supply fresh and healthy so
that chances of impregnation are greater during copulation. It also
allows youth to understand their sexual responses safely and
privately. Encouraging individuals to feel ashamed about
masturbation benefits no one.
August 10th, 2010 at 9:40 am
Prozim1, masturbation isn’t necessary to keep the sperm supply fresh and healthy. God created the natural human function of nocturnal emissions for that to happen. And I’m not saying that all men masturbate for self-medication. I’m simply stating that for a time I did that as a way to medicate loneliness, pain, and depression. Many men would say the same thing. The article isn’t meant to bring shame, but to encourage men and women alike to pursue holiness and live sacrificial lives for Christ.
August 10th, 2010 at 10:40 am
I remember reading an article much like this one in Campus Life
magazine when I was a teen. I followed all the rules, stuffed my
sex drive in the name of my religion, and now feel a great deal of
anger at those who advised me to do it. It’s taken a long time for
me to undo all the harmful beliefs that got implanted in my brain
by this kind of advice. I could have been enjoying my sexuality and
not feeling guilty over things that were completely natural.
Absolutely you have to be smart about sex these days, but
masturbation is a completely safe activity. I do not agree that it
is clear from the Bible what people can and can’t do with their own
bodies. Please don’t start quoting the Old Testament at me, you
know how much perfectly horrible stuff is in the Old Testament that
people never talk about? Jesus’ message is of love and acceptance.
I think it’s time we start accepting ourselves. We are sexual
beings from the moment we’re born to the day we die.
August 10th, 2010 at 4:02 pm
Urbanvegan,
The Christian life is not a life of rules. Living obediently for Christ is not rule-following ideology either. In actuality, when we deny ourselves, pick up our cross, and follow Christ we are more ourselves than doing whatever we want. The paradox and truth is, the more we die to our selves, the more we find life and freedom. Our Creator knows exactly what is best for us, and knows who we truly are. Our sexuality is a beautiful thing – something to be celebrated. God created us with sexuality and sexual drive. But that doesn’t mean we can abuse it to our own devices. That doesn’t mean we can go around having sex with whomever we like, or have sex with ourselves simply because it doesn’t affect anyone but ourselves, which actually is not true as mentioned in the section about orgasm. The Bible is absolutely clear on what we can and should do or not do with our bodies. Romans 12:1, 1 Corinthians 6:19, 2 Corinthians 5:10, and Philippians 1:20-22 are just a few that talk about our bodies, and being living sacrifices for God.
The article only mentions a verse in the Old Testament that is not associated with masturbation, so no, I’m not quoting the Old Testament at anyone. Jesus’ message is of love and truth. John 18:37 states the reason Christ came to earth was to testify to the truth. He met people where they were, but urged them onward to sin no more. Yes, we are sexual beings, but we who are Christ followers are called to obedience and to die to our fleshly desires. Being born sexual beings does not warrant a boundary free life. God, the Creator, sets out boundaries for us to abide in in order to be the best, most free, versions of ourselves.
August 14th, 2010 at 6:09 am
In regards to: “The dangers of masturbating is imprinting your mind
Help please!
with many different people that were never supposed to be linked to
this most intimate act. A rewiring in your brain happens. That’s
why, at least for me, when I began indulging in pornography I could
never masturbate without the fantasy. Because that was imprinted in
my mind. Can you imagine what it would be like, men, to never have
masturbated, never looked at pornography, resisted the temptation
to lust, and once you marry and enter the marriage bed for the
first time, your wife is the only one imprinted on your mind in the
most intimate moment? That was God’s original intent.” -> How is
a young man [age 17] suppose to go about forgetting the feeling of
“thousands” of orgasms achieved by homosexual sinful desire over
the course of roughly five years?
August 17th, 2010 at 6:08 pm
Kristopher, You never really can forget. Right when you think you
have – suddenly you’ll remember. The question isn’t about asking
God to help you forget, as a loving caring Father He wants to help
you resist it now because we’re human, we can’t have our minds
’scrubbed’ of that memory. This is why it’s so important to ask God
to help you stop, that way you won’t be depositing any more
‘unforgetable’ experiences into your memory’bank’ that will only
stumble you later on. In Galations God says that we shouldn’t be
fooled ’cause God will not be mocked, we will reap what we sow. And
in this case, unforgetable thoughts is exactly what we sow, but
don’t give up hope. God can help us put to death the sin of our
members and help us to overcome our memories – rather then forget
them. PS. Read Romans 6. it will do you wonders. If you don’t
understand it, ask someone who you can trust explain it to you
God bless, -Ez
August 20th, 2010 at 9:11 pm
Chris Stump, I didnt know how to contact you but i was reading your
stories and was very very inspired! I just recently found GOD and
ive been struggling with this gay thing!…i thought i was born
this way but i know now im not..but i just want to know how i over
come it!..im still attracted to the same sex but i don’t act on
it…is it gonna be like this forever?
August 21st, 2010 at 2:15 am
As a female reading this article, i completely feel like
masturbation is wrong. I’ve been struggling with it for years now,
sitting in church every Sunday feeling guilty, while I know that
I’ve been doing wrong throughout the week. So I ask God to forgive
me each time, but I feel like I’m only speaking to him when I need
forgiveness…not thanking Him for everyday things that I take for
granted, or all the wonderful things He has done. But this article
really put things in perspective for me because I know that I need
to become closer with God, and form a true relationship. That was
how I started on this horrible cycle; not having a close
relationship with Christ. But now I know that I MUST have a strong
relationship with Him, to overcome my struggle and become a
stronger Christian woman. Thank you so much for this article and
all who commented…it really helps
August 23rd, 2010 at 10:42 am
Shellcity55, I’m so glad this article has been able to minister to you.
August 23rd, 2010 at 5:48 pm
For those struggling with lust and masturbation I highly recommend
reading Every Young Man’s Journey by Stephen Arterburn and Fred
Stoeker. It’s directed more towards heterosexual male teens, but
even so, I found it helpful in dealing with my struggles. Their
goal is not to make us feel ashamed or guilty; simply, it’s to help
us free ourselves from the lustful cycle.
August 25th, 2010 at 11:55 am
Mr. Stump and company, You present some interesting points in this
article, but aren’t they mostly personal and anecdotal? Sexuality
is the expression of an individual, and while you might have found
happiness in your Christian beliefs, not everybody can be ‘healed
for a lifetime’ by a belief in Christ. In many cases following such
a path is really a denial of one’s true needs. “As a temple of the
Holy Spirit, we should not defile our bodies in acts of
self-gratification of any kind.” Self gratification is a part of
life, and even pursuing the path to some heavenly afterlife, as
well as counseling others to do so, is also a type of coping
strategy and meand of self-gratification. My response to this
article is also personal…personally, I am usually uncomfortable
letting deities, other people, and their books tell me how to be
clean and acceptable in the eyes of their god, and to the taboos
they’ve made mostly out of fear. I apologize for being a wordy
jerk…but among the things I search for in life (and therefore
cherish) self-gratification is somewhere on the list, you know?
August 30th, 2010 at 11:02 am
Mint, I do speak from my own personal experience. That is the lens I look through and interpret life. But I also pull from key scriptures and the calling we as Christians have to pursue holiness. This site is a Christian site, offering hope for those seeking it. So, I must disagree with your statement that “not everybody can be ‘healed for a lifetime’ by a belief in Christ”. Everyone is invited to a life in Christ. Christ, being the savior of the world, is completely able to heal every single person walking the earth. He came to die for our sins so that ANYone who confesses him as Lord could have eternal life (John 3:16). The only true need we have is water, food, and our Creator. No one dies from not having sex. No one dies from resisting any sexual pleasure. So sex is not a necessary thing. Self-gratification is a reality of all humanity, but that doesn’t justify it. You seem to miss the point of this article. It isn’t to promote all people attaining good behavior so we can enjoy an eternity of paradise. Dying to ourselves, denying our flesh, and sexual impulses to pursue holiness under Christ and be obedient to him is not a means of self-gratification at all. We pursue things of Christ because God is our Creator and knows what we were created for. He brings life. He’s my father. I absolutely want to please Him.
You have every right to disagree with this article. I’m not telling you how to live your life. As I said before, this article is for those who are pursuing Christ and desiring to live for Him. This isn’t an article trying to make those who may not be Christians embrace a life of self-denial and obedience to someone they do not believe in or worship.
The belief that masturbation is sin is not fear-based at all. It’s addressing the reality that sin has consequences on our lives and only brings decay. But, Christ brings life. As Christians there is a moral standard we must abide in, not because we live under any law, but because Christ calls us to, SO THAT we may experience freedom and life.