Comments on: Will My Same-Sex Attractions Ever Go Away?

By: Panasonic

Panasonic — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 22:57:30 +0000

Hello everyone. I’m 16 right now, and I’m experiencing something
much more than homosexuality. My attractions is directed
specifically to a younger crowd (oh gosh Im a pedo). I used to be
an athiest for a very long time, and I resented God. Now, I’m more
of an agnostic. I certainly believe that a higher being exists, but
I am very angry at him because he never answered my prayers. I
decided to walk away from that life about a week ago, and now am
trying desperately to change, both in my attractions and my faith.
The single thing that I am holding onto for dear life is that I
have never yet acted on any of my attractions. The worst thing I
have done is masturbating; other than that, I have never yet even
hugged any of my friends yet. I understand that my homosexuality is
from a myriad of reasons, and is not only the attraction part
itself. Yes, my dad is distant, and I have been quite a wuss for a
long time. In my part, in order to try to fix myself up, I have
deliberately became closer to my dad (I learned a lot of things
about him… he didn’t really hate me or anything, but he was just
way too tired from work and etc. In fact, he actually wanted
nothing more than to have a good relationship with me), started
doing sports (and found that I actually liked it quite a lot), and
etc. But this is all of the flesh and the outside: I realized that
I need God’s help to help me heal my emotional needs and causes of
my SSA. I have decided to walk that path. I have officially, today,
deleted all my porn and etc. But I must be truthfully honest. I
really want to have OSA one day. A lot of people, not only in
exodus but in other websites, preach out that to be free from SSA
is not to have OSA, but to find freedom in God. But honestly, I’m a
teen, and I’m honestly not a bad person. I always wanted a wife and
kids and live a successful life. On a side note, it’d be quite big
news If I don’t get a wife, especially since I’m considering a
career in the Navy. So I have to be very honest about this: I am
willing to walk this path and follow God, but I really do wish I
have OSA some point in my life. After reading all of this, I
realized how sort of narrow-minded and immature I sounded But at
the same time, it’s the truth. I really wish I might have OSA in
the future. Is it really God’s plan for me to be celibate the rest
of my life, and lead a holy struggle against SSA?

By: Chris Stump

Chris Stump — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 12:59:46 +0000

Hi Stolenlove, There are so many factors that go in to the development of same-sex attractions. There is no “one size fits all” to homosexuality. We all respond to situations in our life differently. I know this is very discouraging and even scary, but there is hope and God does not bring confusion. I would encourage you to find a counselor or Exodus ministry in your area that can help you uncover wounds and brokenness that may be present from your past. You can visit our website at http://www.exodusinternational.org, you can call in 888-264-0877 or email me and I can help you find some help (cstump@exodusinternational.org).

By: stolenlove

stolenlove — Tue, 30 Mar 2010 19:41:40 +0000

hi everyone Im a guy and for the last almost three months know I have developed some sort of an attraction for other guys and I have had no sexual abuse, my dad and i love each other and I have had many great friends who are male and still do, I have a few friends I consider brothers and I can and do talk to them about this issue. Im just confused and basically depressed because I have liked girls all of my life and still do and I have never masturbated to gay porn or whatever because I consider it repulsive. BUt there are times when I get into this mindset where I actually like the idea of gay porn or whatever and it really freaks me out. I have a constant thought process where I go over in my head ‘am i gay?’, and every guy I look at even though Im not attracted to them at all a little voice in my head keeps repeating ‘ your gay go for him”! I just dont know what to do, life is such a struggle because of it and I cant concentrate on what I need to do anymore, Im starting to fail uni and its just turning into a mess. I have been all my life a christian and am faithful that God will save me from this. I might add that ever since I was 12 I have been not addicted but fixated on porn-mostly lesbian and when I was around 13 masturbated every day and I am so far gone and desensitized from anything sexual. I am 17 now and have had a few relationships with girls that have ended pretty badly and I sometimes wonder perhaps I am subconsciously reluctant to have another relationship with a girl. The girls I have been with have either been extremely clingy or just completely indifferent, and im talking relationships for almost a year which is not massive but for someone my age it is. I just need help with this issue as I am confused and dont seem to fit the bill with how homosexuality comes about.
cheers guys, god bless

By: Jonnyboy

Jonnyboy — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 11:02:08 +0000

Just found this page and wanted to leave some hope. To get out of
gay life you need to take one day at a time and not worry about
finding love with a woman. I was in a homo relationship for 7 years
but am now happily married with children. You have to work through
many issues to escape being in the gay lifestyle. When I was
in the gay lifestyle (towards the end of 7 years) I was totally out
of control sleeping around, drinking and drugs. I was brought up
Catholic and I always believed in God. I was dying inside and one
night I lied in front of the image of Jesus of the divine mercy and
I begged him to save me. I told him I was nothing and could do
nothing to save myself as was completely taken over by this Sin. I
heard these words, “do not eat.” I am not the sort of person to
hear words but I new that Jesus had just spoken to me. Some how I
found myself reading the bible which I rarely did and I found a
passage where Jesus said, “some sins can only be healed by prayer
and fasting.” I started to fast and deny myself stuff that I
wanted. I still carried on in the gay lifestyle but something had
changed. I started to find I could fight back against the
temptation to watch porn or sin with Men by fasting. It was not
easy and I had many falls but each day I got a bit stronger. I
acted on the words I believe Jesus spoke to me in the depth of my
despair and I now think that was Jesus getting his foot in the door
in terms of reclaiming me as his property. The eyes are the window
to the soul so watching porn is a big problem as it leads to other
things which hurt us. My prayer life now is strong and I often say
the rosary whilst thinking about the suffering of Jesus in his
painful death. When we unite ourselves in our own misery to that of
Jesus at the foot of his cross there are many graces to be had. We
are not alone and Jesus will give you the graces you need to defeat
this great evil in your life if you ask him. I have been married
for 7 years now and have 2 children. My life now with my family is
a million times better of the life I had before and I can never go
back now. I have a great sex life with my wife but I still have
some SSA. We have to be honest with ourselves! Just because you
have SSA does not mean you will not find love with a woman. I spent 7 years in a gay relationship and that
was the most unhappy time of my life but back then I could never
believe I would ever find what I have now. Because of what I have
now I can never go back even though every so often I have SSA.

By: Chris Stump

Chris Stump — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 16:08:18 +0000

Kevster, what kind of relationship do you have with your brother? If you two are close he may be more receptive to you confronting him about this struggle. It’s very important to not approach him in an accusing way — calling him out. But confronting him with concern, just wondering what those sites were doing on his psp would be a better approach. It’s not like you were actively snooping around to find anything. It just happened to pop up. So confronting him would not be inappropriate. It seems that you are proactively looking for healing, so you could be very helpful for your brother. After all, keeping things in the dark is dangerous and can lead to deeper addiction. Fighting the battle alongside someone else is always helpful. Praying is also an important thing you want to do. Seek wisdom from God for the right timing and circumstance to talk with your brother.

By: kevster wellman

kevster wellman — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 02:54:45 +0000

Hey, I’m back again. the thing is, this time its not really about
me. its about my brother. he is a year older than me, and is
popular in school, is smart, and has a girlfriend, etc. the problem
is, he is addicted to gay porn. i found out because i was playing
his psp the other day. i clicked on web browser, and was greeted
with porn sites. several times, i would pick his psp up, turn it
on, and it will go directly to a gay porn site. he doesnt know that
i know, and im not sure how to tell him, or even to tell him. im
really confused about this. help in this situation would be appreciated.
thanx

By: Chris Stump

Chris Stump — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 20:31:13 +0000

Sorry guys that these posts are late…but here we go:

MNtee – If you want to, you can link your myspace to this article so people can come to the youth website and find it. That would be fine and totally up to you. As far as your second question, I think it would be wise, if you are wanting to pursue healing and walk away from homosexuality, you need to remove yourself from temptation. Delete your accounts from those websites and delete the numbers from your phone. I understand why you like to have those. It gives you a boost and makes you feel desirable from other guys. But it’s counterfeit and it’s not going to help you. It’s important to make real, healthy friends with others guys. I know it’s scary but you will see fruit from that. Also, you are so much more than your looks. Your worth is not based on how you look. God has some great guy friends for you who are going to love you for who you are. I hope that helps.

Kevster – It’s great that you found your way here. There are many contributing factors to someone’s same-sex attraction. Everyone’s story is going to be different. I think it would be great if you had someone who you could talk to, maybe a pastor, youth leader, or friend so you can process some things. Make sure they are safe people that you can talk to. Also, you can call our office at 888-264-0877 and we can provide you with some resources and helpful people in or near your area. It’s not good to fight this battle on your own. Let us know what we can do to help you. Coming here is a great start!

OpenBookUnwritten – Glad you’re here! It would be great to find someone you can talk to. A lot of the stuff I mentioned for Kevster would be beneficial for you too. It’s not good to do this alone, but make sure you find someone safe to confide in with your struggle. Also feel free to call our office and we could direct you to someone in your area who could talk with you. I know that when acting out with pornography, shame usually follows…it did for me. But don’t let the shame trap you. If you’ve asked for forgiveness God no longer holds that sin against you. You are free to make a different choice the next time. You are worth so much and you are way more than your struggle. Don’t let the struggle define you. Let us know how we can help bud.

By: Chris Stump

Chris Stump — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 20:19:17 +0000

Hi godschild.

Thanks for posting. I want to be encouraging here in telling you that if you have accepted Christ into your heart, admitted your sole dependence on Him, and believe Him to be your Savior and master of your life, then you are saved! Your salvation isn’t dependent upon what you’ve done in the past or what you are doing now. Salvation isn’t earned…it’s a gift. God is gracious and doesn’t pull His saving grace up from under you like a rug whenever you have a bad thought or act out. Rest in His faithfulness and grace. Remember we have an enemy that will do anything and lie to us to hinder God’s growth in our lives. God loves you and wants you to continue to grow and walk with Him. Don’t let worry dominate your life. Otherwise you really will miss out on joy. Keep your focus on Him and ask Him to help your unbelief. You are loved by and worth so much to Christ. Believe your His child and know that He doesn’t see you for your struggle.

By: godschild136

godschild136 — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 00:44:36 +0000

i have struggled with gay porn in the past but gave that up about a month or so ago. i am an 18 year old guy and i really want to follow God’s will for my life. i doubt my salvation on what seems like a daily basis. i wish i could just confidently say i was saved, but i always doubt. i realize i am a sinner in need of a savior and have asked Jesus into my heart and be the lord of my life on numerous occasions. i had several sexual encounters with men and i have completely stopped and i have stopped masturbating completely. like i said i just want God’s will for my life. i grew up in church and know this is not a good relationship. this doubt i experience has been hindering me from moving forward and i would like to get rid of it. i still feel ssa toward guys but i don’t act on it and i hope that someday i will be able to not let it affect me at all. i really want a wife and kids, but i want God’s absolute will even more. help me please.

By: OpenBookUnwritten

OpenBookUnwritten — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 06:19:20 +0000

I am 15, and I do struggle with SSA’s often. As a child my dad was not in my life. My mom has tried her best but she kinda falls short. Most of my friends are girls. I like girls more socially and guys more sexually. I eventually do wanna get married and have kids. I am also heavly addicted to gay porn, I have tried to stop but it never really works out. I am so tired of this feeling of being torn and living a split personality, the person everyone sees and the person who comesout behind closed doors. My dad already thinks I am gay, and I have pondered the idea of coming out. And the scenario never works out in my head. Please help.